{"id":102,"date":"2015-10-28T23:52:34","date_gmt":"2015-10-29T04:52:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/?p=102"},"modified":"2018-06-15T23:26:41","modified_gmt":"2018-06-16T04:26:41","slug":"dear-negative-nancy-youre-not-welcome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/?p=102","title":{"rendered":"Dear Negative Nancy, You’re Not Welcome Here!"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Negativity is poison to our body and minds. It consumes us, it takes over. And it does so\u00a0with ease….We barely even know it’s happening.<\/p>\n

The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will be. <\/em>Would you agree with this statement? I think that is an easy ‘yes’ for most people.
\nBut, what happens when you<\/em> are the one bringing the negativity to the table?<\/p>\n

It happens, we all have spurts of being the dreaded ‘Negative Nancy’. The one who focuses on all negative things, talks negatively, whines, never\u00a0has anything good to say, and focuses a lot on their lives and all the things going wrong…\u00a0We have all been there! But, how do we get out of this dreaded phase? How do we keep from allowing the negativity to take over?<\/p>\n

Negative thinking is easy. In my opinion, it’s our minds lazy track. It is so much easier to think negatively than positive. We really need to train our minds to focus on positivity and leave the negative to Nancy.
\nI have a question for you…What are some negative traits you feel you posses? Those things you want to change?
\n…I bet it was really easy for you to come up with a list of things you do not like about yourself, or feel need some tweaking. But now ask yourself the opposite; what are your best qualities? What do you love about you?
\n…Was it more difficult to come up with your positive features than negative? Was your positive list shorter? A lot of the times, we will answer yes. Our minds steer towards the negative, and a lot of times we have to train ourselves to think about the good, the positive, the uplifting. It is hard to forget about the negative and put it aside. It is hard to ignore those thoughts.<\/p>\n

Think about how much easier our lives would\u00a0be if we didn’t respond to or pay attention to all the negativity. If we thought about\u00a0the great qualities we have, the good in the world, focus on our friendships and their worth… Wouldn’t that be wonderful?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I think we have all had that friend who is stuck in ‘Negative Nancy’ phase. The one who always thinks about themselves- the\u00a0‘poor me’ attitude- and quite frankly is just exhausting to be around!\u00a0You leave feeling so icky and ‘blah’ inside because they have complained so much and had nothing good to say about anything\/anyone.\u00a0The ‘Nancys’ of the world tend to focus on themselves, and afterwards our<\/em> moods change because of all the negativity that has been brought in by Nancy. I\u00a0unfortunately have had to wash my hands clean of some Nancy’s in my life, and it’s really too bad.\u00a0They had some fabulous qualities about them, but they let so much negativity consume them, that they could not even focus on the positive and supportive friendships they had right in front of them.<\/p>\n

So, how do we keep from becoming Nancy? What can we do?<\/p>\n

For me, the most important step is to be\u00a0mindful<\/em>. I love the word\u00a0‘mindful’ because it\u00a0 really keeps me in check. To be mindful\u00a0means to focus on our present moment,\u00a0to be aware of ourselves and our thoughts. Mindful means to think about our current feelings, thoughts, and our body language. \u00a0Once we start recognizing right away that we are being negative, we can alter our thinking.\u00a0There are numerous mindfulness techniques\u00a0available\u00a0to practice\u00a0and help train ourselves to be more present in the current moment.<\/p>\n

Another important step in avoiding becoming the Negative Nancy of your posy is to remember that life is not fair. We all have days of feeling like we had a giant target on our backs, and we just do not understand why everything terrible is happening to us today. It is important in these moments to work on training our minds to think positive thoughts. What about my day went well? What can I do differently next time? Tomorrow is a new day! It could always be worse. <\/em>Think about what you are thankful for today, think about what is going right in your life. Again, being mindful of the moment and how you’re feeling. It is a waste of time to go through life thinking about\u00a0the obstacles\u00a0that come your way that are not fair. This is a waste of your energy..Energy that could be utilized is much more productive ways!<\/p>\n

Try not to use the word but<\/em>. But<\/em> is so negative! It is an ugly word, in my opinion, and always negates the beginning of your sentence.\u00a0For example, what if I\u00a0said to\u00a0you “thank you so much for helping me clean the house today, but next time don’t forget to fold the towels’…What does your\u00a0mind\u00a0focus on? For me, it focuses \u00a0on the statement about forgetting to fold towels and makes me feel defensive. But<\/em> completely eliminates the first part of the sentence, making it seem as if it never existed, because we focus on the negative which begins with but. <\/em>It takes practice to rearrange our sentences to eliminate the word but<\/em>, however it does make our conversations with others more positive, therefore people’s interactions with us are more positive as well. What if instead I thought about that sentence and\u00a0said ,”\u00a0regardless of\u00a0the towels not being folded,\u00a0I noticed how great of a job you did cleaning today and I really\u00a0appreciate that…Thank you”.<\/p>\n

Always remember that smiling is the best medicine \ud83d\ude42\u00a0Nothing helps uplift our spirits and load our minds with positivity more\u00a0than a little laughter and smiling. Smiling is contagious! The more we smile, the more people around us will feel our positivity and want to find something to smile about too. Isn’t your favorite person at the office the one who is always making light of the situation and cracking jokes? You can be that person too, if you want to!<\/p>\n

Also important is not to dwell…Try moving forward and turn that negativity into a learning experience. Dwelling on icky feelings keeps us feeling down in the dumps. It rubs off on our friends, and honestly makes them not want to be around us. Not to say we can’t vent sometimes to our friends, that is what friends are for too! Just try focusing on positive aspects of your friendships as well, and be supportive of one another in the positive aspects of your lives.<\/p>\n

Know that it is okay to seek out a ‘listener'(therapist, counselor, life coach).\u00a0Utilizing a listener\u00a0is such a wonderful and healthful\u00a0gift that we can\u00a0give ourselves.\u00a0 We don’t have all the answers.\u00a0 People who are trained in these fields can serve as a\u00a0 wonderful and non-judgmental sounding board.\u00a0\u00a0Don’t ever deny yourself the ability to consider visiting with someone if life presents\u00a0you with a roadblock. Allow this\u00a0‘listener’ to help untangle the thoughts and come to a place of peace.\u00a0 We all help each other, and there is nothing wrong with asking for help.<\/p>\n

Another important\u00a0factor of course, as I have mentioned before, is to work on loving yourself! I talk a lot about this because it is so important, and so easily overlooked because we spend a lot of time putting our energy into others’ needs before our own. To love yourself will bring positive feelings, and it will be easier to let the negative stuff go. As I mentioned in a previous blog (http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/2015\/10\/08\/lifes-too-short\/), make a list of what you love about yourself. Think about some of these things right away in the morning, or right before bed. Better yet, have your list somewhere visible. It sounds cheesy, but it’s really helpful. My husband and I made a list of things we love about each other and have them next to our bed. It always cheers me up to see that list, even if I do not read it. Just having it there is a reminder that\u00a0I am loved and possess many great qualities that my husband notices.<\/p>\n

Being a positive person will bring more positive feelings, experiences, and people into our lives.<\/p>\n

Find peace. Find happiness. Find yourself.<\/em><\/p>\n

– <\/em>keep shining<\/p>\n

‘Like’ my Facebook page if you want updates on when I post new blogs! Under the ‘like’ button there is an option to receive notifications anytime I post something new.
\nhttps:\/\/www.facebook.com\/secretsofsw\/?ref=hl<\/p>\n

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Negativity is poison to our body and minds. It consumes us, it takes over. And it does so\u00a0with ease….We barely even know it’s happening. The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will be. Would you agree with this statement? I think that is an easy ‘yes’ for most people. But, what happens when you are the one bringing the negativity to the table? It happens, we all have spurts of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[342],"tags":[59,61,65],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/102"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=102"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/102\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":336,"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/102\/revisions\/336"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=102"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=102"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=102"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}