Wherever you are right now, pause for a moment and look around. Find everything in your space that is the color brown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Take a few seconds to really<\/em> look.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now close your eyes and, without opening them, try to recall everything around you that is the color green.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Most people struggle with this part. Not because green isn\u2019t there, but because it wasn\u2019t what we told ourselves to look for…And that\u2019s the point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What we focus on shapes what we notice. What we notice shapes how we feel. And over time, those feelings quietly shape how we experience the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is why I talk so much, here and in my trainings, about joy, noticing small moments, and finding reasons to smile. Not because life is always light or easy (it isn\u2019t), but because our perspective is deeply influenced by what we\u2019re trained, consciously or unconsciously, to see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In my wellness presentations, I often use something called the belief wheel<\/em>. It helps explain how our beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and results reinforce one another, sometimes without us ever realizing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It looks like this (as a wheel):<\/p>\n\n\n\n Belief \u2192 Thoughts \u2192 Feelings \u2192 Behaviors \u2192 Results \u2192 back to the original belief<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Let\u2019s start with an intentionally dramatic example (stay with me):<\/p>\n\n\n\n Belief:<\/strong> No one will ever love me.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n If that\u2019s your starting belief, what thoughts<\/strong> do you think would follow? Those thoughts then create feelings<\/strong>: sadness, defeat, anger, resentment, self-consciousness, confusion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now, how might you behave<\/strong>? If you believe you\u2019re unlovable, you might give up, pull away, or put up walls. You might come across as guarded, shy, cold, uninterested, or overly nervous when you meet someone who could actually be kind or interested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So what happens next?<\/p>\n\n\n\n The interaction gets awkward. And suddenly, the original belief feels confirmed: See? I told you no one would ever love me.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n The wheel keeps spinning and looks like this: Not because the belief was true, but because everything that followed was filtered through it. It\u2019s the same reason the \u201cbrown and green\u201d exercise works.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When we tell ourselves to look for brown, we find brown everywhere. Green disappears, not because it\u2019s gone, but because it\u2019s no longer our focus. Our limiting beliefs work the same way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If we believe the world is unsafe, people are disappointing, joy is fleeting, we are undeserving, or happiness is something other people get, we will collect evidence to support that belief, even when other truths exist alongside it. But the truth is, we do not need to believe everything we think, and we shouldn’t. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This isn\u2019t about toxic positivity. It is<\/em> about challenging beliefs that don\u2019t serve us: beliefs that don\u2019t feel good, don\u2019t help us heal, and often aren\u2019t even true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes it starts small, like noticing one good moment or letting yourself smile without explaining why. Paying attention to what feels steady, warm, or even neutral instead of focusing only on what feels heavy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Other times, it means gently challenging yourself, maybe even having to \u201cfake it till you make it\u201d, by choosing to believe you are deserving of love. As that belief begins to shift, your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors slowly change too. Over time, those changes create different outcomes, in part because you\u2019re finally looking for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n These kinds of beliefs are what build confidence, excitement, and hopefulness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Both small and big moments can interrupt the loop. They give your nervous system a break. They remind your brain that green exists too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is why I share happy photos and post funny things. It\u2019s a practice of widening the lens and a reminder that even on hard days, something small can still be true, good, and worth believing<\/strong> in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is why my blog segment Happy Things Thursday<\/em> exists; as a practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because noticing doesn\u2019t have to be dramatic. These moments tell your nervous system: you\u2019re okay right now.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n So today, I\u2019m sharing a few photos and happy things that made me smile recently. Not because everything is perfect in my life right now (newsflash: it isn\u2019t) but because noticing is powerful. Believing in the happy parts of my life helps ensure my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors feel worth waking up to every day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And sometimes, it\u2019s enough to just start there, so I\u2019ll leave you with three (non-preachy) points. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 1. Your brain is doing its job, even when it\u2019s annoying<\/strong> 2. Neutral counts just as much as happy<\/strong> 3. Consistency matters more than intensity<\/strong> Your mindset is powerful. It shapes your world and your reality. So whether you believe you can or you belive you can\u2019t, you\u2019re right.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n – keep shining Wherever you are right now, pause for a moment and look around. Find everything in your space that is the color brown. Take a few seconds to really look. Now close your eyes and, without opening them, try to recall everything around you that is the color green. Most people struggle with this part. Not because green isn\u2019t there, but because it wasn\u2019t what we told ourselves to look for…And that\u2019s the point. What we […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1716,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[341,342,1],"tags":[33,647,44,53,140,67,97,74,86],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1711"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1711"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1711\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1717,"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1711\/revisions\/1717"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1716"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1711"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1711"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/swsecrets.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1711"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n\n\n\n
Maybe things like: What\u2019s wrong with me? Why do I even try? I must be unlovable.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
The person doesn\u2019t call.
The connection fades.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Belief <\/strong>(no one loves me)\u2192 Thoughts <\/strong>(what’s wrong with me?) \u2192 Feelings <\/strong>(sadness)\u2192 Behaviors<\/strong> (guarded\/shy) \u2192 Results <\/strong>(the person doesn’t call) \u2192 back to the original belief<\/strong>: See? I told you no one would ever love me.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s not about pretending things don\u2019t hurt or forcing gratitude when you\u2019re exhausted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n
This is why I write about small joys and remembering to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A warm cup of coffee.
A breeze through an open window.
A moment where your shoulders relax a little easier. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n
Our brains are wired to scan for threat and problems, not joy. That\u2019s not a personal failure, it\u2019s biology. When we intentionally look for moments of ease or goodness, it can feel like a lot of work because we\u2019re retraining a system that learned to survive first. One study suggests we have an average of 55,000 thoughts a day, and over 80% of them are negative. If that\u2019s the case, that\u2019s a lot of retraining and a lot of reason to give ourselves grace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This matters especially for people who live in high-stress or trauma-exposed worlds. You don\u2019t have to jump straight to gratitude or joy. Neutral moments (quiet, steady, predictable) are often safer and more accessible, and that is okay right now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s not about one big breakthrough moment. It\u2019s about small, repeated reminders that safety, comfort, and goodness exist alongside the hard stuff. The ability to notice what is good is a skill, and like any skill, it can be practiced. Believing something positive can create better results in our lives, and those beliefs can be small. Something as simple as reflecting on three things you\u2019re grateful for each day may feel \u201ceye-roll-y\u201d, but done consistently, it subtly retrains us to look for those things. It\u2019s also about paying attention to what relaxes your body and softens your thoughts, it doesn\u2019t always have to be big or joyful to matter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Find me: Facebook<\/a>, Instagram<\/a>, Pinterest<\/a>, LinkedIn<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"