SECRETS OF A SOCIAL WORKER

Find peace. Find happiness. Find yourself.

Month: April 2017

7 Rules To Live By

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1. There is more than 1 right way for things to work out.
We often put a lot of stress on ourselves for things to work out the way we want them to; the way we have planned it all out in our heads. However, this completely defeats the purpose of growth and learning. Life would not be nearly as exciting if things worked out as we plan and foresee them to. A little chaos and uncertainly is healthy, and it keeps us on our toes. Enjoy life’s ups and downs, and accept when things turn out differently than we wanted or planned.
There is a reason you’re ending up right where you are, going through what you’re going through, and experiencing something unforeseen or maybe even unasked for…Enjoy the journey.

2. We all experience pain differently, but that doesn’t mean you deserve it.
Pain is just a part of life. We are all going to go through many painful experiences, and often times unexpectedly. A lot of our pain comes from life not meeting the expectations that we set for ourselves.
Do not get discouraged. You do not go through pain because you have done anything to deserve it. We are supposed to experience pain as it makes us who we are.
Many of my most painful life experiences have ended up being the best teaching moments, and I have grown tremendously from them. Enduring pain is what makes us resilient!

3. Accept your biases.
No matter how hard we try, we are going to have biases and judgements regarding certain things in our lives. Humans are predisposed to what feels/looks familiar and safe. It is our awareness of our biases and how we act on them that matters. Not one person in this world has a perfect view of reality as we all see it through our own windows. Accepting your biases puts you in a position to expand your perspective and learn new things, recognizing that we can learn from others’ biases too. The key here is to be willing to hear others’ perspectives, admit when you’re wrong, and being open to changing your mindset.

4. We are meant to experience things that do not make sense to us.
We are all dealing with experiences and circumstances that are difficult, confusing, and unexpected. It is normal, and it is okay.  What is important to remember is that we try not to judge others as we have no idea their circumstances or their perspective of the situation; everyone deals with life the best way they know how. Confusion and uncertainty is going to happen; we aren’t supposed to have all the answers. We can’t control circumstances, but we can control how we react to them. Sh*t happens, whether we feel there is a reason for it or not.

5. Quit caring about what others think about you.
I’ve blogged about it before and I will blog about it again…What people think about you is none of your business. Why waste your time and energy caring about that? People are going to judge regardless. People are going to view you the way they want to, no matter how unflattering that may be.
Live your life the way you want to. The minute you stop trying to please others and focus on your own wants and needs, the more relieved you will feel. You choose the way you see yourself, bottom line.

6. Life is about change, stop being scared of it.
What fun would life be if we didn’t experience all the unplanned curve balls? Quit hesitating, quit thinking of what people will think, and quit overanalyzing the end result. Live in the moment, live in what feels right right now. Change is scary, especially when we weren’t asking for it, but think about where you’d be today if you didn’t endure some unexpected changes in your world. This is what makes life worth living! Enjoy the adrenaline that change brings out in you.

7. Never forget to tell people how you feel about them.
I think we can all agree that one of the best feelings in the world is when someone you care about tells you how they feel about you. Whether on a personal or professional level, never underestimate the power of this! There is no better way to brighten someone’s day then to tell them all the positive things you think about them. It makes people happy to be reminded of your feelings towards them, or when you compliment them unexpectedly.
Why keep those thoughts bottled up anyways? Brightening someone’s day feels good! 

 

You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself ~

-keep shining

Free Yourself From Guilt

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Can I tell you what is thee biggest waste of time in our lives?

Feeling guilty.

We all do it, we all waste time regretting bad decisions, and we all beat ourselves up. We replay the same stories in our minds and lose any kind of self compassion for ourselves we once had.

But how detrimental is this mindset? We should never be treating ourselves this way. We must love ourselves whole heartedly before we can do any good for others in this world. But, I have good news for you…

I am freeing you from all your guilt, right here, right now. Yes, me. I will give you one piece of advice that will change your life forever as long as you listen to and believe it is true (and it is, trust me).

There is no need to feel guilty if you consciously realize that you made a mistake, and you have learned from this experience. If you know what you have done is wrong and it conflicts with your morals and conscience, you have already learned and know that you will not repeat the same mistake. Thus, there is no need to hoard guilt when your conscience already knows that you’re going to do better next time. You do not need to feel guilty about mistakes that were lessons learned and ways in which you will improve as an individual. Torturing yourself does not make you a better person, but learning will.

I think the concept of guilt is a significant issue in our society. For example, telling our children that they are naughty when they make a mistake can affect their personal idea of who they are. If we often scold children for doing something bad, they start to think they are bad…Turning their guilt into shame. The difference being guilt the mindset of, “I did something bad”, whereas shame becomes, “I am bad”. See where I’m going with this? You are not your actions, and your actions do not define who you are as a person.
Do not let your guilt eat you up so much that it turns into shame, which then affects your view of yourself. It is with shame that we start to feel less self-compassionate and more unhappy.

The guilt you have does not need to define you, and don’t let it. You make mistakes, you do bad things…And you know what that makes you?..
.
.
….HUMAN.

-keep shining