- Having autostart for your vehicle
- Grilled cheese and tomato soup
- Candlelit showers
- Unexpected inspiration
- Fresh donuts
- Work Christmas parties
- A good slice of pizza
- Netflix binge sessions
- Heated seats
- Being told by your supervisor to leave work early
Tag: Social Work (Page 11 of 14)
Breaking News:
There is no such thing as the future. The future is our make-believe. It is where we think up the most exciting parts of our lives, as well as where we create some seriously stressful situations.
Our mind is where we are predicting a future while simultaneously missing out on the present moments in our lives.
My thoughts about the future are chaotic. Sometimes I think of things that I assume will happen, and get really excited when they do. But other times, my thoughts of the future leave me really disappointed when life does not pan out the way I assumed. Does this ever happen to you?
On the flip side, sometimes I assume certain stressful or scary situations are going to occur, and they never do. It is true, after all, that 90% of what we stress about each day does not happen. The what if’s, just in case’s, but’s, the what would happen if’s…..They are endless.
The truth? The stressful thoughts do not predict our future, and neither do the positive assumptions.
Think about how much time we waste focusing on the make-believe future instead of what is right in front of us. We lose out on many moments in life because our focus is on what’s coming next, instead of the ‘now’. We need to focus on the ‘now’ to develop a more confident, focused, and successful self. The ‘now’ helps us to learn gratitude and patience for what is coming next since we are content in our present self.
I challenge you to think this thought: I am open-minded towards the future and what is or is not going to happen…
Think about the relief that can come with this thought when you truly believe it. We do not need to worry about things panning out perfectly, or be disappointed when they don’t. Sometimes we have no control over parts of our lives or the paths we are meant to take, and we just have to accept that- plain and simple.
The unpredictability of our life path is fun, it’s exciting, and it’s how we learn to be our best selves. We cannot plan our futures, but we can focus on what is in our control and what is going well right now. What am I enjoying right now in this moment, and how can I capitalize on that?
Let’s start turning away from focusing on the ‘what-you-want-is-what-will-be-the-reality’ frame of mind. We can focus on what we want, loosely, while also understanding that life takes you down an unpredictable stream, and we can’t craft our future as we envision. Stuff happens, and if we want to make the most out of life we must be flexible and open to this.
I will challenge you to work on some grounding techniques which can be researched easily online, or check out my past blog on grounding. <—click here
Think about how many curve balls you’ve been thrown in your life, and how those got you to the present moment….
What have been some life changing moments in your life?
Once you determine those moments, think about how your life may be different now had those curve balls never been thrown your way.
That is pretty incredible, isn’t it? And I bet it was unpredictable too!
The future belongs to those who believe in the power of now.
-keep shining
On Monday I woke up with an agenda on my mind. I had things to do, people to see, and money to make. It was a Monday, after all, and we all know what that means! So you can imagine how frustrating my morning was, waking up sick as I have been the past few days. Lucky for my husband, I had no ability to use my voice for 4 days. Unlucky for my agenda and career, my every day life requires me to use my voice to coordinate, train, and meet with people.
This current experience of being sick has been a clear reminder to me of how much I like order and control in my life. Being sick makes me feel vulnerable and incapable of doing every day tasks, especially ones that have been planned and coordinated in advance. And let me tell you, I do not like this feeling. The feeling of having to reschedule trainings, not being able to answer my phone calls, having co-workers take on my job duties…This is extremely difficult for me to accept.
During my personal pity party Monday morning, it dawned on me that there is absolutely nothing I can do about being sick. I realized that I needed to accept that the situation was out of my control, and that everything is going to be okay! Everyone will go on with their lives and in the meantime I will get healthy again. Once I somewhat accepted this ( I am still working on it) I came up with a quick list of things to remember in times when things do not go according to our plans:
- Life will go on – If you’re frustrated with things not going according to plan or not having control over a situation, I can guarantee you that you’ll move on. Someday, you will not even remember what you’re upset about right now, in this moment, and it will not matter. Is this really worth stressing over right now?
- “Let go and let God” – To me, this saying means that by letting go and going with the flow, things will fall into place as they are meant to. Everything happens for a reason, and there is a reason you aren’t in control in this very moment. Embrace it, accept it.
- This too shall pass – My favorite saying that my grandmother used to say. I use this all the time! Whether I am sick, scared, annoyed, in pain, hurt, etc…I remind myself that soon this will be over, and I will be past this moment in my life even stronger than I was before. This is comforting to remind myself during icky moments.
- People can carry on without you – Yes, it’s true. People can go about their daily lives without you in it for the time being. Maybe those people will learn something new today because you weren’t present and/or in control. Maybe they will appreciate you even more when they experience moments without you present or without you being in charge. Everyone will be okay without your help and/or presence today, I promise.
- Breathe and enjoy letting go – Enjoy the time you have to sit back, not make any decisions, and breathe. It’s okay to slow down from time to time and understand that you cannot solve all the world’s problems today. What other options do you have now that you are not in control? What else are you able to accomplish today that typically you would not have the ability to do? Yes, you may be sick like me, but it still allows you some extra time in your day to do other things. Even if those other things consist of binge watching tv and staying in your pajamas all day. Who cares?! Enjoy that time to yourself, even if you are feeling crumby.
- Embrace the chaos – Use this time to your advantage and challenge yourself. If things are not going according to plan, what can you learn from this? Try to find the pieces to enjoy! Are you home sick like me? Great, take that time to do the laundry in between working from home. Have that cup of afternoon coffee that typically you do not have time for.
Are you in a situation where you have no control? Or in a situation that is unorganized and chaotic? Learn from that chaos. Change the way you control and coordinate things based on the chaotic experience you’ve endured. Also try to enjoy things not being predictable, sometimes it can be fun to let go and be unaware of what is coming next! - You’re your own worst critic – You are going to judge yourself more than anyone else who you feel you’ve let down today. You are going to notice when things do not go according to your plan much more closely than anyone else that is present. Remember that we are always harder on ourselves, and that typically people view us much differently than we are viewing ourselves. Plain and simple.
- Remember that you’re human, not super human – You cannot do it all, people! It’s not possible. Even if you try really, really hard there are things that will not go according to plan, and situations where you cannot have control. Remind yourself that there is only so much you can offer each day without completely burning yourself out. Remember to take care of yourself. If you’re not healthy, no amount of control can make things go smoothly for you because you’re lacking basic needs to keep yourself on track each day. It is okay to ask for help sometimes. We all need to practice being vulnerable (click here to read my blog on The Power Of Vulnerability).
- Loss of control brings change – Change is wonderful, but change can be hard. I can tell you that the times in my life where I experience the most amount of personal change are in situations that are unpredictable and challenging for me. This is where I learn how I respond as a person, and how I want others to view me. This is where I learn what I am made of. Chaos can be a beautiful thing. I challenge you to think of a time you learned something new about yourself, and think about how much control you had over the situation where you changed.
- Be grateful – Awe, the most basic but powerful point of all! Stay positive! On Monday, while sick and incapable of doing my job to the fullest, I reminded myself of how lucky I was to have a job that I want to partake in each day. I think about how lucky I am to have trustworthy coworkers who I know can carry on without me and support my personal health. I am grateful to have a husband to call the doctor for me because I have no voice and cannot make my own appointment. I am glad that I have insurance and can pay for medications. I am grateful that most days I do have my my voice and my health, as the past few days have been some of the most challenging I’ve had in a long time. I am grateful for a comfortable home where I can work all day, and a nice work computer that still allows me to get some stuff done. And I am grateful that being sick gave me a great writing idea for my blog!
See how easy that was?! Thinking of these positive things makes me feel happier, and helps me keep my focus where it needs to be…and I’ll give you a hint, it’s not on the fact that I am sick.
Letting go is hard…but sometimes, holding on is harder
-keep shining
The time has come to celebrate rebirth, Christianity and religion, and spring. Yay for Easter! Easter is a great time to focus on many blessings in life, and one in particular is change and regrowth.
During the time of Easter, I like to focus on celebrating nature after the long and cold winter dissipates. As the days grow longer and the snow melts from the rooftops, the birds will start singing, green leaves reappear, and animals recreate. Just the smell of spring brings me joy and energy! Prior to Christian Easter being established, people acknowledged the anticipation of spring by celebrating the rebirth of life on Earth. And the best part is? We can continue the celebration of this changing season and the meaning behind it all!
I love focusing on growth in my life, which is partly why my favorite color is green. There is so much to think about this time of year; new opportunities, change, and rebirth. It is just such a refreshing, calming feeling for me to think about Easter and spring time, and how that can relate to my life. Around this time of year, I try really hard to focus on the sprouting trees, birds singing, smell of grass, and sound of people outside. Focusing on nature’s regrowth helps me to stay grounded and think about the present moment.
Some things to ponder during this time of year:
What have I grown from this year?
How can I be more present with nature?
Why is personal growth important to me?
What about myself can be celebrated during this time of year?
What do I mean by growth, you ask? Well, I believe the definition of growth is completely up to you. It is about your perspective. For me, it is all about who I am as a person-What I have learned and what type of person I want to be. Growth is about what changes I have made and continue to make, and the improvements I continue to make in my awareness of nature and staying grounded. Nature is my “church” because it’s so spiritual to me. There is so much to be thankful for at Easter!
How are you growing as an individual? What have you been through that has gotten you to where you are today, and how are you showing gratitude towards yourself and your strengths, changes, abilities? Easter is the perfect time of year to reflect on these questions.
How can you use nature to make more positive changes in your life and focus on all the wonders that surround you each and every day?
Something will grow from all that you are going through, and it will be you.
-keep shining and happy Easter
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