SECRETS OF A SOCIAL WORKER

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Tag: positivity (Page 6 of 8)

It’s A Good Week To Have A Good Week

September 12, 2016 / / 0 Comments

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Self worth and positivity, baby, that’s where it’s at! Today’s post is all about these lovely things and how easy peezy it is to incorporate some self lovin’ and  positive vibes into your every day routines. What a great way to start out the week!

  • Take vacations, take long vacations. None of this one-day-off junk! We all need extended time off to truly unwind and relax. Whenever I am on vacation, I find that it takes a few days for me to exhale and not think about the busy happenings of my everyday life. It is during these long breaks that we learn about ourselves, our hobbies, our minds, and what helps us to relax.
    The person that you spend the most time with in your life is yourself, you better try to make yourself as interesting a possible. What do you love about yourself, outside of work? Taking time to explore yourself will help you find what makes you tick. It helps you find your self worth, and it takes more than a day of vacation to do so.
  • Live a ‘want to’ life. Do not go through life with the feeling of having to do everything. What do you want to do? How can you live a ‘want to’ life? Find a life worth living and never forget to do the things you enjoy. Our careers do not define us as people, and there are deeper levels and meanings to who we are. Find who you are. Find your self worth; what makes you feel valuable and unique to society? What areas of your life need to change in order to be the chooser of your own path? What makes you feel happy and fulfilled outside of work; what excites you? 
  • Stop to smell the roses. Mindfulness, mindfulness, mindfulness…And in case you forget, here is one more mindfulness! The majority of my blogs have some aspects of being self-aware and appreciative of your surroundings. Be in the ‘now’ of your life, and if you cannot do so, then find someone or some thing that can help you achieve this.
    “Stop to smell the roses” can be your reminder to live in the moment and enjoy your surroundings. What are you appreciative of and happy about right now? Be grateful for what you have every single day…even on your worst days.
    Make a note to think about your roses every day. Are your roses good health, great family, and having a roof over your head…? Along with those marvelous things, I want you to dig even deeper. What are some great things you experience or have day to day that you overlook? To help you through the process, check out my Happy Things Thursday blogs!
    Personally, I like to think about my roses each day before bed because it helps me to go to sleep on a positive note, and wake up feeling the same way.
  • It’s not about perfection, it’s about effort. That is how change and transformation happen. Give it your best shot, and at the end of the day that is all you can do. We aren’t perfect, and the more we strive to be, the more stressful and unhappy our lives become. Know that you have done your best, even if you’re the only one who notices that day. Focus on your efforts and strengths each day, as that is where the true beauty in who you are lies…This is how we create self worth. We cannot love ourselves if we don’t feel worth, and without self worth we cannot love ourselves. Be proud of your accomplishments and give yourself credit when it’s due.
    Combined with the daily roses you’re going to acknowledge, try ending each day by recognizing your efforts and what you’re proud of…Go you! 
  • Feel sexy. This goes for  you too, men! It feels good to feel good! Do what makes you feel sexy- whatever that may be. We all gain confidence from feeling good. Love yourself and love your body. Be nice to yourself and use words of kindness-always. We all deserve a little sexy self talk, and sometimes we can just feel sexy for ourselves and not for anyone else.
    It is possible to retrain our brains to focus more on our positive traits…to focus more on what we love about ourselves, no matter how much we have put ourselves down. Try to tell yourself each day why you feel good about YOU, which in turn helps you gain that self worth. Keep an ongoing  list on your phone of what makes you so darn sexy, and keep adding to it. Then on those tougher days where you’re just not feelin’ it, you can pull out that list as a positive reminder.
    To feel sexy helps us to feel confident and proud of who we are…Flaunt it!
  • Buy stuff and don’t feel guilty. We all deserve a little retail therapy once and a while, do we not? It is okay to treat ourselves to the occasional coffee, beer, new shoes, hunting equipment, house decor, etc. It is not going to break the bank to reward ourselves a little bit now and again. It feels good. And hey, we all work hard! All of our money cannot be designated for bills and ‘adulting’. We all deserve some ‘fun money’ now and again, don’t we?! Nothing feels better sometimes than a little materialistic lovin’.
  • And finally…..It’s a good week to have a good week. Every second, minute, hour, day, week, year, and life is up to us. How awesome is that? It is our choice to look at each week with excitement and opportunity in our eyes and in our hearts. It is up to us to find the good in each experience we encounter. Choose to have a positive mindset…Choose to be kind to yourself, and do not forget to have a good week! 

There are two rules to success….
     1. Don’t forget to be awesome
     2. Follow rule #1

-keep shining

Top 10 Reasons To Call In Sick

May 15, 2016 / / 0 Comments

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On Monday I woke up with an agenda on my mind. I had things to do, people to see, and money to make. It was a Monday, after all, and we all know what that means! So you can imagine how frustrating my morning was, waking up sick as I have been the past few days. Lucky for my husband, I had no ability to use my voice for 4 days. Unlucky for my agenda and career, my every day life requires me to use my voice to coordinate, train, and meet with people.

This current experience of being sick has been a clear reminder to me of how much I like order and control in my life. Being sick makes me feel vulnerable and incapable of doing every day tasks, especially ones that have been planned and coordinated in advance. And let me tell you, I do not like this feeling. The feeling of having to reschedule trainings, not being able to answer my phone calls, having co-workers take on my job duties…This is extremely difficult for me to accept.

During my personal pity party Monday morning, it dawned on me that there is absolutely nothing I can do about being sick. I realized that I needed to accept that the situation was out of my control, and that everything is going to be okay! Everyone will go on with their lives and in the meantime I will get healthy again. Once I somewhat accepted this ( I am still working on it) I came up with a quick list of things to remember in times when things do not go according to our plans:

  1. Life will go on – If you’re frustrated with things not going according to plan or not having control over a situation, I can guarantee you that you’ll move on. Someday, you will not even remember what you’re upset about right now, in this moment, and it will not matter. Is this really worth stressing over right now?
  2. “Let go and let God” – To me, this saying means that by letting go and going with the flow, things will fall into place as they are meant to. Everything happens for a reason, and there is a reason you aren’t in control in this very moment. Embrace it, accept it.
  3. This too shall pass – My favorite saying that my grandmother used to say. I use this all the time! Whether I am sick, scared, annoyed, in pain, hurt, etc…I remind myself that soon this will be over, and I will be past this moment in my life even stronger than I was before.  This is comforting to remind myself during icky moments.
  4. People can carry on without you – Yes, it’s true. People can go about their daily lives without you in it for the time being. Maybe those people will learn something new today because you weren’t present and/or in control. Maybe they will appreciate you even more when they experience moments without you present or without you being in charge. Everyone will be okay without your help and/or presence today, I promise. 
  5. Breathe and enjoy letting go – Enjoy the time you have to sit back, not make any decisions, and breathe.  It’s okay to slow down from time to time and understand that you cannot solve all the world’s problems today. What other options do you have now that you are not in control? What else are you able to accomplish today that typically you would not have the ability to do? Yes, you may be sick like me, but it still allows you some extra time in your day to do other things. Even if those other things consist of binge watching tv and staying in your pajamas all day. Who cares?! Enjoy that time to yourself, even if you are feeling crumby. 
  6. Embrace the chaos – Use this time to your advantage and challenge yourself. If things are not going according to plan, what can you learn from this? Try to find the pieces to enjoy! Are you home sick like me? Great, take that time to do the laundry in between working from home. Have that cup of afternoon coffee  that typically you do not have time for.
    Are you in a situation where you have no control? Or in a situation that is unorganized and chaotic? Learn from that chaos. Change the way you control and coordinate things based on the chaotic experience you’ve endured.  Also try to enjoy things not being predictable, sometimes it can be fun to let go and be unaware of what is coming next!
  7. You’re your own worst critic – You are going to judge yourself more than anyone else who you feel you’ve let down today. You are going to notice when things do not go according to your plan much more closely than anyone else that is present. Remember that we are always harder on ourselves, and that typically people view us much differently than we are viewing ourselves. Plain and simple. 
  8. Remember that you’re human, not super human – You cannot do it all, people! It’s not possible. Even if you try really, really hard there are things that will not go according to plan, and situations where you cannot have control. Remind yourself that there is only so much you can offer each day without completely burning yourself out. Remember to take care of yourself. If you’re not healthy, no amount of control can make things go smoothly for you because you’re lacking basic needs to keep yourself on track each day. It is okay to ask for help sometimes. We all need to practice being vulnerable (click here to read my blog on The Power Of Vulnerability).
  9. Loss of control brings change – Change is wonderful, but change can be hard. I can tell you that the times in my life where I experience the most amount of personal change are in situations that are unpredictable and challenging for me. This is where I learn how I respond as a person, and how I want others to view me. This is where I learn what I am made of. Chaos can be a beautiful thing. I challenge you to think of a time you learned something new about yourself, and think about how much control you had over the situation where you changed.
  10. Be grateful – Awe, the most basic but powerful point of all! Stay positive! On Monday, while sick and incapable of doing my job to the fullest, I reminded myself of how lucky I was to have a job that I want to partake in each day. I think about how lucky I am to have trustworthy coworkers who I know can carry on without me and support my personal health. I am grateful to have a husband to call the doctor for me because I have no voice and cannot make my own appointment. I am glad that I have insurance and can pay for medications. I am grateful that most days I do have my my voice and my health, as the past few days have been some of the most challenging I’ve had in a long time. I am grateful for a comfortable home where I can work all day, and a nice work computer that still allows me to get some stuff done. And I am grateful that being sick gave me a great writing idea for my blog!
    See how easy that was?! Thinking of these positive things makes me feel happier, and helps me keep my focus where it needs to be…and I’ll give you a hint, it’s not on the fact that I am sick.

Letting go is hard…but sometimes, holding on is harder

-keep shining

Happy Things Thursday

January 28, 2016 / / 0 Comments

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  1. Cozy days next to the fire place, with hot chocolate, and a good book.
  2. Getting good service at a restaurant
  3. Roasting marshmallows
  4. A first kiss
  5. Finding the perfect lipstick
  6. Smiling so much your cheeks hurt
  7. Oversized sweaters
  8. Someone scratching your back
  9. Sunshine
  10. Building a snowman

In The Craziest Of Times, Be Present.

January 26, 2016 / / 0 Comments

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Picture this:

You are alone in the woods and are running away from a big, mean, and hungry bear. In the exhausting and terrifying moments that you’re fearing for your life, you find a bridge with a tall gate that you think you’d be able to squeeze through. Thankfully, you make it through the gate and escape the terror of the hungry bear behind you. Once through the gate and looking forward while trying to catch your breath, you notice that the other side of the bridge has broken off and the falling pieces  are ever-so-slowly creeping towards you. Looking below, you realize you’re too high up to jump off the bridge and land safely on the rocky terrain hundreds of feet below you.  Between the angry bear attempting to break through the gate, and the fate of falling from the cliff you reside on, you’re stuck and panicked.
During your state of terror, you notice hanging off the side of the bridge the most beautiful, colorful, and lively flower you’ve ever seen. Its beauty is memorizing, and you can’t help but go towards the flower and feel happy in its presence. You sit next to and admire  the flower, feeling relaxed when smelling its aroma and feeling comforted when touching its silky petals. In that moment, all is good with the world and you are at peace.

…Do you see where I am going with this?

Sometimes, all that we can do  is focus on the present moment. Sometimes, everything surrounding us is scary, chaotic, negative, hurtful…And these situations may sometimes be out of our control. How can we be more present in those situations, in the exact moment, and focus on what is in our control? How can we find the good, and focus on the good when we are in an environment that is anything but peaceful? There is always something we can focus on that is good. In any situation, we have the ability to know and understand that things can get better. In any moment, we can choose to surround ourselves with positive thoughts. We may not be able to choose what is happening around us or to us, but we can choose where our focus lies and how we respond. Sometimes, the best way to react is to focus on the beauty right in front of us, what makes us smile, and how lucky we are in the present moment.

In scary, chaotic, negative and hurtful moments…find the flower.

Think positive, be positive, and positive things will happen.

-keep shining

First Thought Wrong

January 17, 2016 / / 0 Comments

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‘First thought wrong’ is a concept I learned from comedian Mark Lundholm. I first heard about Mark when working at a psychiatric and  addictions hospital where his motivational and comical videos were utilized in our treatment facility. I fell in love with  his concept of ‘first thought wrong’ as it pertains to individuals suffering with the disease of addiction and their impulsive mindset.  I also feel this concept can be utilized in many other aspects of our lives as it helps to remind ourselves to  s l o w d o w n  sometimes.

My definition of First Thought Wrong: Acting compulsively and speaking impulsively. Not taking the time to filter through our thoughts which leads to inappropriate responses. Speaking or doing too quickly. ‘First thought wrong’ is the concept of reacting too quickly therefore our responses may be wrong.

When I am using my emotions to think through a problem or disagreement, that is where I need to utilize this concept the most. How often do we respond impulsively using our emotions, rather than taking time to filter our thoughts and process our response before blurting it out loud?  It is when I am deeply connected to something that is being questioned that I get defensive and utilize my emotions to respond quickly, not giving myself any time to filter my words. ‘First thought wrong’ reminds me that typically in these heated and emotional moments, the first thing I plan to say may be wrong  and better kept to myself. It is a reminder that I should back up and count to 10 before acting or responding. This helps me to react logically and professionally rather than with my emotions.

One thing I have learned through social work is that silence is a good and helpful thing. Sometimes, no one has to say anything and we can all just be silent, process our thoughts, and take time to think things through. This is difficult, as sometimes 10 seconds can feel like 5 years! However, I have noticed that a little silence goes a long way, and sometimes not saying anything says a lot. Practice being comfortable in moments of silence, and do not feel badly about verbalizing your need to take some time to think through your response…. It is okay. You are benefitting yourself by slowing down and taking the extra time to formulate your responses.

Mark Lundholm states that sometimes his ‘first thought wrong’ can take many days to process through. It can take that long to remove ‘first thought wrong’ and replace it with the right thing to do. Sometimes it will take us days to replace  ‘first thought wrong’ to produce a  positive thought which leads to appropriate and calm  responses.

Think about a time when you could of utilized the concept of ‘first thought wrong’…. What would of have been different had you used this concept? What benefits could ‘first thought wrong’ have provided in this situation?

Take the extra time to calmly and correctly respond. You will learn more about yourself in the process, and that is something special!

“First thought wrong becomes next right thing” – Mark Lundholm

-keep shining

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