I was scrolling down the inevitable black hole of TikTok the other day when I heard something that stopped me in my tracks:
“If you were the main character in a movie about your life and there was an audience watching the movie, what would the audience be screaming at you to do?”
Oof. Gut punch. Because let’s be honest—most of us would be yelling something, or perhaps many things…It could be something gentle, like “Dude, put down your phone and be present.” Or maybe other, louder things, like “STOP PRIORITIZING PEOPLE WHO DO NOT PRIORITIZE YOU” or, “QUIT THAT JOB AND BE HAPPY!”
And let’s not even start on those horror movie moments, when you know what’s coming, and you’re practically begging the character, “Don’t go in there!” But they always do. Every. Single. Time.
I sat with it for a minute; if my life was playing out on screen, what would I be yelling at myself?
I’d probably be gripping the armrest and thinking, “Please don’t say yes to that thing you don’t have time for.” I’d be whispering to my friend next to me in the theatre, “Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?!” I’d be going mad when they (AKA, me) hesitate on something they know deep down they want, yelling, “Just freaking do it already!”
And here’s the thing—if we can see it so clearly from the outside, why is it so hard to change from the inside?
Maybe it’s because we’re too close to our own stories. We excuse our own patterns because they feel familiar. And we forget that, unlike a movie, we actually can rewrite the next scene.
So, here’s my challenge for you (and for me):
1. Figure out what you’d be yelling.
What’s the one thing (or things) you wish your past self would have done differently? What’s the pattern that keeps playing on repeat? What’s the decision that—if this were a movie—you’d be watching, shaking your head, already knowing how it ends?
As you reflect, resist the urge to beat yourself up… Regret is a trap—one filled with shame, guilt, and endless bargaining that leads nowhere but frustration. I have never believed in the idea of regret because there’s no point in dwelling on what’s already happened, but there is value in looking back with clarity. Not to ruminate, but to recognize. Not to stay stuck, but to step forward with a new perspective.
“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.”
2. Decide if you want the movie to take a plot twist.
If you keep watching yourself make the same choices, ending up in the same situations, it’s worth asking—do you want the story to stay the same, or is it time for a shift? Patterns don’t break on their own, and nothing changes until you decide to change it.
This isn’t about flipping your life upside down overnight, but about recognizing that you’re not stuck in a predetermined storyline. You get to decide whether this remains a cycle of missed opportunities and frustration or becomes the turning point where things finally shift. This does not have to be the cautionary tale you thought it was—maybe this is the part where everything starts to change, or at least some parts.
“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”
Here’s the thing about change and taking risks: the unknown will always feel uncomfortable, but staying in the same loop just because it’s familiar isn’t safe—it’s just stagnant. Those of you who read my blogs regularly know how much I encourage this. Instead of wondering what could be, what if you actually experienced it? Take a moment to journal about the decisions you’ve been avoiding or the ones you make begrudgingly; talk it out with someone you trust and visualize what the sequel to your life’s movie would look like if you finally went for the plot twist…
What would happen if you bet on yourself?
3. Start acting like the main character you’re rooting for.
The one who sets boundaries, chooses joy, and stops giving second chances to things that don’t deserve them. The one who stops letting fear hold them back. The one who finally realizes that their worth was never in question and who has the confidence they always envied in others. It’s your movie, so you get to decide.
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
At the end of the day, no one wants to watch a movie where the character stays stuck. The best ones are where they finally get it. Where they make the move, take the risk, say the thing, and step into something better… Doesn’t that feel good?
And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be the character who makes it to the happy ending than the one who has people throwing popcorn at the screen, yelling, “Come on. You know better!”
So, what’s your movie moment? What’s the thing you know you’d yell at yourself? Maybe today’s the day you finally listen and take the first step.
“When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.”
-keep shining
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