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Tag: change (Page 1 of 2)

Rewrite The Plot

I was scrolling down the inevitable black hole of TikTok the other day when I heard something that stopped me in my tracks:

“If you were the main character in a movie about your life and there was an audience watching the movie, what would the audience be screaming at you to do?”

Oof. Gut punch. Because let’s be honest—most of us would be yelling something, or perhaps many things…It could be something gentle, like “Dude, put down your phone and be present.” Or maybe other, louder things, like “STOP PRIORITIZING PEOPLE WHO DO NOT PRIORITIZE YOU” or, “QUIT THAT JOB AND BE HAPPY!”

And let’s not even start on those horror movie moments, when you know what’s coming, and you’re practically begging the character, “Don’t go in there!” But they always do. Every. Single. Time.

I sat with it for a minute; if my life was playing out on screen, what would I be yelling at myself?

I’d probably be gripping the armrest and thinking, “Please don’t say yes to that thing you don’t have time for.” I’d be whispering to my friend next to me in the theatre, “Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?!” I’d be going mad when they (AKA, me) hesitate on something they know deep down they want, yelling, “Just freaking do it already!”

And here’s the thing—if we can see it so clearly from the outside, why is it so hard to change from the inside?

Maybe it’s because we’re too close to our own stories. We excuse our own patterns because they feel familiar. And we forget that, unlike a movie, we actually can rewrite the next scene.

So, here’s my challenge for you (and for me):

1. Figure out what you’d be yelling.

What’s the one thing (or things) you wish your past self would have done differently? What’s the pattern that keeps playing on repeat? What’s the decision that—if this were a movie—you’d be watching, shaking your head, already knowing how it ends?

As you reflect, resist the urge to beat yourself up… Regret is a trap—one filled with shame, guilt, and endless bargaining that leads nowhere but frustration. I have never believed in the idea of regret because there’s no point in dwelling on what’s already happened, but there is value in looking back with clarity. Not to ruminate, but to recognize. Not to stay stuck, but to step forward with a new perspective.
“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.”

2. Decide if you want the movie to take a plot twist.

If you keep watching yourself make the same choices, ending up in the same situations, it’s worth asking—do you want the story to stay the same, or is it time for a shift? Patterns don’t break on their own, and nothing changes until you decide to change it.

This isn’t about flipping your life upside down overnight, but about recognizing that you’re not stuck in a predetermined storyline. You get to decide whether this remains a cycle of missed opportunities and frustration or becomes the turning point where things finally shift. This does not have to be the cautionary tale you thought it was—maybe this is the part where everything starts to change, or at least some parts.

“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

Here’s the thing about change and taking risks: the unknown will always feel uncomfortable, but staying in the same loop just because it’s familiar isn’t safe—it’s just stagnant. Those of you who read my blogs regularly know how much I encourage this. Instead of wondering what could be, what if you actually experienced it? Take a moment to journal about the decisions you’ve been avoiding or the ones you make begrudgingly; talk it out with someone you trust and visualize what the sequel to your life’s movie would look like if you finally went for the plot twist…

What would happen if you bet on yourself?

3. Start acting like the main character you’re rooting for.

The one who sets boundaries, chooses joy, and stops giving second chances to things that don’t deserve them. The one who stops letting fear hold them back. The one who finally realizes that their worth was never in question and who has the confidence they always envied in others. It’s your movie, so you get to decide.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

At the end of the day, no one wants to watch a movie where the character stays stuck. The best ones are where they finally get it. Where they make the move, take the risk, say the thing, and step into something better… Doesn’t that feel good?

And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be the character who makes it to the happy ending than the one who has people throwing popcorn at the screen, yelling, “Come on. You know better!”

So, what’s your movie moment? What’s the thing you know you’d yell at yourself? Maybe today’s the day you finally listen and take the first step.

“When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.”

-keep shining
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When you love yourself…

  • You smile more often
  • Your taste in people will change
  • You say no
  • You do not listen to outside opinions
  • Your confidence is your best friend
  • Your success matters more than how much you weigh
  • You are less stressed
  • You focus on your purpose
  • You understand your passions
  • You see the world through a positive lens
  • You are less judgmental
  • You gain self awareness
  • You leave toxic relationships behind
  • You are grateful for the little things
  • You trust the process
  • You do not let the expectations of others define you
  • You put yourself first
  • Your mindset evolves
  • Your values and goals begin to change
  • You are able to be vulnerable
  • You set boundaries
  • Your self care becomes a priority
  • You see yourself for you who are
  • You seek more opportunities
  • You learn to accept helpful criticism and apply it
  • You prioritize the health of your body and soul
  • You love unconditionally
  • You are living

-keep shining
(Click here to learn how to celebrate yourself)

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Color Outside The Lines

A common theme I have noticed lately is the amount of guilt we suffer with as humans. Many friends and clients I interact with have shared stories with me about their guilt and how they’ve allowed it to control decisions they make or skew their perspective. These conversations have lead me to realize how much we allow guilt to paralyze us. We constantly suffer from guilt, let it eat us alive, and alter our decision-making. We feel guilty for things we don’t do, things we do, things we do or don’t say, not doing enough or doing too much. And if we let it, guilt is a never ending cycle of torture. And it causes us to fear life rather than enjoy every twist and turn it has to offer.

The way out of guilt is to look inward. We cannot allow guilt to run our lives. When we do, we are not living our own truths, and we are veering off path from the things we want to experience. Life isn’t about fearing and second-guessing every decision we make. Life is about navigating fear, not letting it win us over. Life would be so much easier if we feared less, and only you can remove the fear.

Unfortunately, it is so normal for us to abide by the rules set by other people and institutions. We try to avoid feeling guilty or avoid being out of compliance with what ‘rules’ have been set for us. But we have to push aside what people and institutions have said to us; all the rules, the do’s and don’ts. I am not saying having morals and values are not important, but we do not need to feel guilt for making mistakes or just doing something different. Morals and values can change with our growth as an individual, but we fear going against the norm. There is so much fear instilled in us through people and institutions that we forget to ask ourselves the most important questions; What do we want for ourselves? What is it that we want to experience?
We live in such fear of doing ‘wrong’…We forget that we are in the driver’s seat. Ask yourself who ultimately gets to decide what is ‘wrong’ for your life…Why aren’t we deciding for ourselves what is right or wrong?

We put way too much emphasis on other people’s and institution’s feelings and expectations of us. But the contradicting part is that it is our life to live. You are a good person, you are loved, and you are human. People put so much emphasis on guilt or fear around a ‘judging God’ (and by God I mean any higher power, institution, spirit, etc. you believe in). God LOVES you, period. You will not be judged for going this way or that way in your life. There is no judgement from God…just love. This is the hang up many people have; displeasing a ‘judging God’.

We cannot allow fate to happen when we live in fear, yet we try to allow fate and fear both to be the most impactful and dominate factors in our lives….This idea is impossible. Fate cannot express itself if the motivating or controlling force behind our actions/decisions is fear. We are distracted from experiencing our fate because of the guilt we hoard. We need to be easy on ourselves and let go a little bit. There is nothing to fear.

When we remove the guilt and focus more on our wants and our own decisions or rights/wrongs, we feel better. We become more certain about what we want. If we can remove the guilt, our minds and bodies will tell us over time what direction is right. Of course it’s human of us to want to consider how our decisions affect others, but don’t forget to keep yourself in that equation as well. The love for yourself should be of the upmost importance to you.

There are many situations in my life where one would assume I’d need to feel guilt, but I don’t let that consume me. I am my own person who is making my own decisions based on what I want at that time. No one can tell me what is right or wrong for me, only I know what feels right and what needs to happen for me to move forward. I don’t owe anyone an explanation.

It’s okay to color outside the lines now and then. Your feelings, opinions, and actions are legitimate because you say they are. You meander through life as your own unique self. You are not purposefully trying to harm institutions you believe in or hurt other people you love. And the God you believe in knows that. You’re just doing your best and living life on your terms. We are all just trying to figure it out. And how beautiful is that?…Isn’t that what life is about?

Once you decide to live on your own terms, notice who rises to the surface to be beside you. Who accepts you for who you are, and who knows your value and your heart. Those are the people who truly understand you. Quit apologizing for actions you take or saying sorry for being who you are, just be aware of it as this helps you understand what you want in your life.

We are always changing, learning, growing. We do not need to tell people every single time we change or justify our behavior, because we are just changing continuously. We do not need to straighten it out, fix things, apologize…It is okay to just be changing, as we all do. Change helps us grow, and growth brings us happiness.

Guilt is a sure way to unhappiness and stress, and guilt is a constant state of paranoia around ‘doing what you’re supposed to’ (whatever that means). The rest of your life is a really long time to not be sure if you’re happy. It is important to ask yourself if suffering with guilt and living in fear is worth compromising your own truth, well-being, and experiences that you’d want for yourself. It’s important to know that whatever choices you make, they are a part of you. They are teaching you, and that does not make you a bad person. Don’t forget that YOU get to decide. You are a good person, and there is only LOVE.

No amount of guilt can change the past. No amount of anxiety can shape the future. 

-keep shining

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Spring Cleaning For Your Brain

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Spring cleaning season has come and gone quickly this year, hasn’t it?  And decluttering our homes each spring feels good. But along with throwing away old clothes and cleaning out our kitchen cupboards, there are other ways in which we can declutter each spring, starting with your brain….

  • Stop thinking too much…  We let our minds get the best of us sometimes. If we want to declutter our brains and simplify our lives, we have to work on living in the now and what feels right. Quit hesitating, quit overanalyzing. We always want to predict the outcome and think through various scenarios, and we need to stop. ..Think less do more. A little impulsivity and spontaneity is what life is all about. Try to start leaving your comfort zone this summer! 
  • Surround yourself with people or that special someone who makes you a better person… Now that you’re done spring cleaning your home, clean out your friend circle this summer, and assess your current relationships. Do the people in your world bring out the best in you? Do they help you see a new perspective? Do they challenge you in positive ways? Whether friends or a significant other, ask yourself these questions. Some relationships are not meant to last forever, and that is okay. Focus on those who focus on you.
  • Quit feeling the need to defend or explain yourself to people… Life will continue to be exhausting if we live for others. Life will not feel worthwhile if we do not focus on our own wants and needs. How often are we scared of our choices or outcomes based on the concern of how we are going to look to others? How often do we stress over how we are going to defend our actions to others? But WHY do we torture ourselves this way? We do not owe anyone an explanation for our lives or our choices.
  • Forgive yourself for yesterday’s mistakes. We are a different person today than we were yesterday; we change a little bit each and every day. We have grown and learned since yesterday and are in a different mindset today. We cannot go through life focusing on what we could have done differently or beating ourselves up about things in the past. We cannot change yesterday’s mistakes or decisions. Today is a fresh start and a new perspective. Each mistake is a lesson learned, and some mistakes bring us down an even better path than we could have predicted for ourselves. 
  • Don’t ever forget that the best things in life are free. Memories, hugs, kisses, love, family, friends, smile, laughter, sleep…All FREE! Do not forget about all the non-materialistic things in life that make life worth living. Declutter your world and focus on the things that don’t take up any extra space. 

Embrace the glorious mess that you are ~
-keep shining

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Easter Is Here, A Time For Regrowth!

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The time has come to celebrate rebirth, Christianity and religion, and spring. Yay for Easter! Easter is a great time to focus on many blessings in life, and one in particular is change and regrowth.

During the time of Easter, I like to focus on celebrating nature after the long and cold winter dissipates. As the days grow longer and the snow melts from the rooftops, the birds will start singing, green leaves reappear, and animals recreate. Just the smell of spring brings me joy and energy! Prior to Christian Easter being established, people acknowledged the anticipation of spring by celebrating the rebirth of life on Earth. And the best part is? We can continue the celebration of this changing season and the meaning behind it all!

I love focusing on growth in my life, which is partly why my favorite color is green. There is so much to think about this time of year; new opportunities, change, and rebirth. It is just such a refreshing, calming feeling for me to think about Easter and spring time, and how that can relate to my life. Around this time of year, I try really hard to focus on the sprouting trees, birds singing, smell of grass, and sound of people outside. Focusing on nature’s regrowth helps me to stay grounded and think about the present moment.

Some things to ponder during this time of year:
What have I grown from this year? 
How can I be more present with nature?
Why is personal growth important to me?
What about myself can be celebrated during this time of year?

What do I mean by growth, you ask? Well, I believe the definition of growth is completely up to you. It is about your perspective. For me, it is all about who I am as a person-What I have learned and what type of person I want to be. Growth is about what changes I have made and continue to make, and the improvements I continue to make in my awareness of nature and staying grounded.  Nature is my “church” because it’s so spiritual to me. There is so much to be thankful for at Easter!

How are you growing as an individual? What have you been through that has gotten you to where you are today, and how are you showing gratitude towards yourself and your strengths, changes, abilities? Easter is the perfect time of year to reflect on these questions.

How can you use nature to make more positive changes in your life and focus on all the wonders that surround you each and every day?

Something will grow from all that you are going through, and it will be you. 

-keep shining and happy Easter

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