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Tag: love yourself (Page 4 of 5)

It’s A Good Week To Have A Good Week

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Self worth and positivity, baby, that’s where it’s at! Today’s post is all about these lovely things and how easy peezy it is to incorporate some self lovin’ and  positive vibes into your every day routines. What a great way to start out the week!

  • Take vacations, take long vacations. None of this one-day-off junk! We all need extended time off to truly unwind and relax. Whenever I am on vacation, I find that it takes a few days for me to exhale and not think about the busy happenings of my everyday life. It is during these long breaks that we learn about ourselves, our hobbies, our minds, and what helps us to relax.
    The person that you spend the most time with in your life is yourself, you better try to make yourself as interesting a possible. What do you love about yourself, outside of work? Taking time to explore yourself will help you find what makes you tick. It helps you find your self worth, and it takes more than a day of vacation to do so.
  • Live a ‘want to’ life. Do not go through life with the feeling of having to do everything. What do you want to do? How can you live a ‘want to’ life? Find a life worth living and never forget to do the things you enjoy. Our careers do not define us as people, and there are deeper levels and meanings to who we are. Find who you are. Find your self worth; what makes you feel valuable and unique to society? What areas of your life need to change in order to be the chooser of your own path? What makes you feel happy and fulfilled outside of work; what excites you? 
  • Stop to smell the roses. Mindfulness, mindfulness, mindfulness…And in case you forget, here is one more mindfulness! The majority of my blogs have some aspects of being self-aware and appreciative of your surroundings. Be in the ‘now’ of your life, and if you cannot do so, then find someone or some thing that can help you achieve this.
    “Stop to smell the roses” can be your reminder to live in the moment and enjoy your surroundings. What are you appreciative of and happy about right now? Be grateful for what you have every single day…even on your worst days.
    Make a note to think about your roses every day. Are your roses good health, great family, and having a roof over your head…? Along with those marvelous things, I want you to dig even deeper. What are some great things you experience or have day to day that you overlook? To help you through the process, check out my Happy Things Thursday blogs!
    Personally, I like to think about my roses each day before bed because it helps me to go to sleep on a positive note, and wake up feeling the same way.
  • It’s not about perfection, it’s about effort. That is how change and transformation happen. Give it your best shot, and at the end of the day that is all you can do. We aren’t perfect, and the more we strive to be, the more stressful and unhappy our lives become. Know that you have done your best, even if you’re the only one who notices that day. Focus on your efforts and strengths each day, as that is where the true beauty in who you are lies…This is how we create self worth. We cannot love ourselves if we don’t feel worth, and without self worth we cannot love ourselves. Be proud of your accomplishments and give yourself credit when it’s due.
    Combined with the daily roses you’re going to acknowledge, try ending each day by recognizing your efforts and what you’re proud of…Go you! 
  • Feel sexy. This goes for  you too, men! It feels good to feel good! Do what makes you feel sexy- whatever that may be. We all gain confidence from feeling good. Love yourself and love your body. Be nice to yourself and use words of kindness-always. We all deserve a little sexy self talk, and sometimes we can just feel sexy for ourselves and not for anyone else.
    It is possible to retrain our brains to focus more on our positive traits…to focus more on what we love about ourselves, no matter how much we have put ourselves down. Try to tell yourself each day why you feel good about YOU, which in turn helps you gain that self worth. Keep an ongoing  list on your phone of what makes you so darn sexy, and keep adding to it. Then on those tougher days where you’re just not feelin’ it, you can pull out that list as a positive reminder.
    To feel sexy helps us to feel confident and proud of who we are…Flaunt it!
  • Buy stuff and don’t feel guilty. We all deserve a little retail therapy once and a while, do we not? It is okay to treat ourselves to the occasional coffee, beer, new shoes, hunting equipment, house decor, etc. It is not going to break the bank to reward ourselves a little bit now and again. It feels good. And hey, we all work hard! All of our money cannot be designated for bills and ‘adulting’. We all deserve some ‘fun money’ now and again, don’t we?! Nothing feels better sometimes than a little materialistic lovin’.
  • And finally…..It’s a good week to have a good week. Every second, minute, hour, day, week, year, and life is up to us. How awesome is that? It is our choice to look at each week with excitement and opportunity in our eyes and in our hearts. It is up to us to find the good in each experience we encounter. Choose to have a positive mindset…Choose to be kind to yourself, and do not forget to have a good week! 

There are two rules to success….
     1. Don’t forget to be awesome
     2. Follow rule #1

-keep shining

Happy Things Thursday

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1. Finding good bargains
2. Finishing a good book
3. Getting through an entire tube of chapstick without losing it or melting it into your clothes while in the laundry machine.
4. Organizing a new purse or wallet
5. Buy one get one free, of anything
6. Cozying up in a fuzzy robe with a good book
7. Being told ‘I love you’ by a cute little kiddo
8. Easter=time to spend with family
9. The smell of freshly mowed grass
10. Getting a free cell phone upgrade

Happy Things Thursday

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1. Holidays off from work
2. Having your favorite leftovers for lunch the next day
3. Receiving a compliment from a stranger
4. Wearing shorts for the first time after a long winter
5. The anticipation of wearing a new outfit
6. Midday naps
7. Lunch breaks with friends
8. Unexpected raise or bonus at work
9. Someone buying you a treat, coffee, etc. unexpectedly
10. Watching someone’s face light up when you surprise them with something, just because…

The Power of Vulnerability

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It’s true….The word ‘vulnerable’ is viewed pretty negatively. It makes sense that the word is viewed negatively because to be vulnerable means that we are in a state of weakness, being more susceptible to physical or emotional harm. It reminds us that we have insecurities and cannot cope with everything that comes our way. And who wants to ever be in a state of weakness? Who would want to have insecurities?

In this society, there is so much importance placed upon being strong, independent, and smart. People strive to appear confident and unbreakable. It is a part of our society that has been engraved into our brains, especially for males. But, being strong and confident all the time is exhausting, is it not? Wouldn’t it be nice to put down the facade from time to time and admit that we just cannot handle it anymore?
Well what if I told you that embracing your weaknesses will make you a more confident individual? Would you believe me?

I want you to know that is it okay to be vulnerable…There is no greater strength as a human than to be open to vulnerability.

Personally, I have difficulty admitting to being wrong and apologizing. I feel extremely vulnerable when I know I am wrong because I know I need to own up to those mistakes and voice my apology where an apology is due. I know I cannot escape my mistake until I own up to it and make it right. I dread it, and frankly, I am bad at it. However, there is a huge feeling of relief and a huge feeling of empowerment when I own up to vulnerabilities such as these. There is something about breaking down your walls, being vulnerable, telling the truth, and admitting your weaknesses that feels so good. And do you want to know why?
Because we are human. Humans are supposed to have moments of weakness, humans are supposed to have faults. How do we learn if we do not let ourselves be vulnerable? It is in times of weakness that we learn our strengths, we learn what we are made of, and we learn how we are going to come out on top. That is immense strength. To be vulnerable is the ability to put our egos aside and know that doing so is okay. It is a part of healing wounds, it is a part of working on those vulnerabilities to make them our strengths. Having failures, feeling uncertain, and being accountable are all a normal part of life. So, since we have to deal with those things, why not embrace them and make it easier on ourselves?

When was a time where you felt your weakest? How did you overcome that, and what did you learn?
In the moment , feeling weak or hopeless is not ideal and not something we want to face. But afterwards, it can feel really great if we open ourselves up to accepting our weaknesses and work on them. Self-awareness plays a huge role here, and being open to looking at each vulnerability as something we need to learn from. Why is this something that makes me feel vulnerable? What about my past makes this situation so difficult to overcome? Why is this insecurity of mine coming to the surface? And how can I make the most of this situation?
Another important piece of self-awareness is to set healthy boundaries with others. You do not want people to take advantage of your vulnerabilities, so to be aware of them is to protect yourself as well.

I challenge you to start verbalizing how you feel in each moment and be open to revealing your flaws to others. This step is truly exhilarating.
Vulnerabilities are purposefully put into our lives because we are meant to put down our walls and overcome barriers. Ask yourself how you can make your vulnerabilities your biggest strengths.

We all have fears of sharing too much and not being accepted by others. We neglect ourselves of truly connecting with people when we are always focused on being desirable rather than being who we are. It takes courage to accept the parts of ourselves we are ashamed of. Embrace and celebrate your shortcomings, and be open to other people’s as well. Ironically enough, you will find that embracing your flaws will make you a more confident individual.

Moving on, I want you to know that vulnerability helps us to be more humble. One huge gift that vulnerability provides us with is to ask for and accept help from others. Being able to accept help and genuinely thank someone can be as difficult as saying I’m sorry. But we must have a healthy balance between giving and receiving. We feel strong when we are the giver, the ‘one who knows’. We love to give, which is a great thing! But, it takes a healthy dose of humility to accept help and admit that we do not know everything. It is overwhelming and stressful to always be the giver. Graciously accept help. To ask for help is to look at a situation squarely and know that you cannot do it all. Humans are not made to be perfect. Needing help is being real with yourself, it is being smart and realistic.

Tidbits to review today:
1. Focus on self-awareness in moments of weakness. Be aware of your vulnerabilities so you can set boundaries with others.
2.  Connect with people on a deeper level, do not focus on being desirable but instead on being YOU.
3. Celebrate and embrace your insecurities. They make you who you are, and by being more self-aware you can improve on those insecurities.
4. Failure and mistakes are normal. They make us human and help us learn.
5. Be open to revealing your flaws to others and verbalize how you feel, and know that it is okay to be uncertain sometimes.
6. To ask for help is humbling. It is smart and realistic to know that we cannot do it all. Asking for help and being the receiver is healthy. Accept help and provide thanks to the giver.

I define vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. To be human is to be in vulnerability. –  Brene’ Brown

 

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Being Selfish Is Not Selfish

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I know that you have heard me say it before, but I want you to know some really good news!!! Are you ready for it? Here it goes….

 It is okay to be selfish sometimes.

Isn’t that relieving?! Knowing that you can focus on yourself and your own needs, and not have to feel guilty about it?

For the sake of this blog I like to refer to selfishness as ‘self-interest’ because it has a much more positive tone to it. So, why is it so important to be self-interested? And how can we be self-interested without feeling guilty?

Answer me this…How productive are you when you are exhausted, upset, rushed? How involved and focused are you on your work, family, and other obligations when you are experiencing those symptoms I just listed? How are you able to fully invest in those obligations when you are not fully invested in yourself, first and foremost?

Do this exercise for me real quick: Come up with a list of things you can do for self care, because to be self-interested means you have to take care of yourself. What are some goals you can set for yourself to be sure you’re giving yourself enough ‘me time’, and how will you hold yourself accountable for reaching that goal? For example, one of my self care goals is to get a manicure every 3 weeks 🙂 I schedule my next appointment while I am at the salon so I know for sure that I will continue my self care and not forget about it. Although this act of self-interest costs money, there are many self-interest options that do not cost anything, such as taking a bath, going for a walk, calling someone you’re close to, listening to music, etc.

Each day ask yourself two things: 1. What would be the most loving action I could take for myself today? 2. What would be fun for me today?
Put these questions in your phone as an alarm, or write yourself a sticky note and place it somewhere you will see it each and every day.

Self-interest helps to clear our minds and feel rejuvenated. It helps me focus on myself, and what I need to do for me in order to focus on my other obligations. We need that ‘breath of fresh air’ sometimes, that break, that moment of selfishness to feel ready to take on the next challenge that comes our way. I know for a fact that I am much more empathetic, patient, and happy helping others at work every day when I also remember to help myself.

Sometimes I feel guilty when I focus on myself, and I think that is pretty normal. But, by reminding myself that I am a better me when I am happy and give myself some time to breathe, I feel so much better about every other aspect in my life. You are helping others more-so by spending some time focusing on you as well. With a fresh mind, you can better help and be there for others. It is all about balance and giving yourself permission to love yourself.

I think society puts a lot of pressure on us to do for others, be helpful, focus on people’s needs and how we can better this world. Yes, all of these things are true and important, but we are forgetting to include ourselves in there! We cannot better the lives of others if we are not bettering ourselves. We are a society focused on external reward and praise for our actions. Those are great things, but they can be even greater if we remember to give ourselves a break sometimes.
Self interest = self respect.
Type ‘self-interest quotes’ into your search engine and view images to see all the negative ideas of self-interest that pop up. This is unfortunately a good example of why we are made to believe that being self-interested is frowned upon, and that is truly a misconception!

It is not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and make your happiness a priority.  It’s necessary.

Have I persuaded you yet?

-keep shining

 

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