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Tag: life (Page 5 of 7)

The Future Is Not Real

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Breaking News:
There is no such thing as the future. The future is our make-believe. It is where we think up the most exciting parts of our lives, as well as where we create some seriously stressful situations.
Our mind is where we are predicting a future while simultaneously missing out on the present moments in our lives.

My thoughts about the future are chaotic. Sometimes I think of things that I assume will happen, and get really excited when they do. But other times, my thoughts of the future  leave me really disappointed when life does not pan out the way I assumed. Does this ever happen to you?
On the flip side, sometimes I assume certain stressful or scary situations are going to occur, and they never do. It is true, after all, that 90% of what we stress about each day does not happen. The what if’s, just in case’s, but’s, the what would happen if’s…..They are endless.

The truth? The stressful thoughts do not predict our future, and neither do the positive assumptions.
Think about how much time we waste focusing on the make-believe future instead of what is right in front of us. We lose out on many moments in life because our focus is on what’s coming next, instead of the ‘now’. We need to focus on the ‘now’ to develop a more confident, focused, and successful self. The ‘now’ helps us to learn gratitude and patience for what is coming next since we are content in our present self.

I challenge you to think this thought: I am open-minded towards the future and what is or is not going to happen…
Think about the relief that can come with this thought when you truly believe it. We do not need to worry about things panning out perfectly, or be disappointed when they don’t. Sometimes we have no control over parts of our lives or the paths we are meant to take, and we just have to accept that- plain and simple.

The unpredictability of our life path is fun, it’s exciting, and it’s how we learn to be our best selves. We cannot plan our futures, but we can focus on what is in our control and what is going well right now. What am I enjoying right now in this moment, and how can I capitalize on that?
Let’s start turning away from focusing on the ‘what-you-want-is-what-will-be-the-reality’ frame of mind. We can focus on what we want, loosely, while also understanding that life takes you down an unpredictable stream, and we can’t craft our future as we envision. Stuff happens, and if we want to make the most out of life we must be flexible and open to this.
I will challenge you to work on some grounding techniques which can be researched easily online, or check out my past blog on grounding. <—click here

Think about how many curve balls you’ve been thrown in your life, and how those got you to the present moment….
What have been some life changing moments in your life?
Once you determine those moments, think about how your life may be different now had those curve balls never been thrown your way.
That is pretty incredible, isn’t it? And I bet it was unpredictable too!

The future belongs to those who believe in the power of now.
-keep shining

What Am I Doing Here?

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We all do it…Have those moments of panic when thinking about what we are doing with our lives, where we are headed, and our inability to predict the future. We feel lost, unsure, confused, and may feel we are headed towards a dead end. I am here to remind you that those feelings can be normal; there is no need to panic!

There seems to be a lot of pressure behind finding our purpose in life; what we are meant to do here on earth, and how to best make use of our skills. It can take many years for us to find that purpose, if ever at all. This can be discouraging and stressful. But our purpose here should be anything but discouraging and stressful. Having purpose brings excitement and meaning to our lives, feelings of importance and happiness. We all want that for ourselves, and we all deserve to feel valuable to our society and the world.

I think it is important to remember that we were placed on this earth for a reason. Each and every one of us is special, and we are all here for a reason, whether we are consciously aware of that reason or not. Do not let thoughts of feeling insignificant keep you from being happy and finding purpose.  What you choose as your purpose in this life is completely up to you.

Here are some helpful ideas to help you feel as important and valuable as you truly are!……

Be a dreamer.… Dream about and focus on what you want your purpose to be. Dream about possibilities you feel are far from reach. Fantasize about making things you enjoy being a part of your purpose. Dream away!
Celebrate your mistakes…. I know I have told you this before, but be proud of and learn to love your mistakes! (Click here to view my blog on the importance of making mistakes)  Mistakes make us who we are. They form us, help us grow. Without mistakes, how would we learn? Being accepting of mistakes is crucial to learning our purpose. We need to accept that we are not perfect. Even when we find our purpose we will not practice our purpose perfectly. Part of finding our purpose is making mistakes. Mistakes are a part of our journey, so really try to enjoy the growth that comes from them. Just do YOU.
Challenge yourself….Do not surrender to low standards. Challenge yourself, push yourself, and trust that you are capable of more than you realize. Be confident in what you bring to the table!
Carry on…..When you’re exhausted, make a mistake, or feel defeated…Keep going! Hard work is valuable so try and try again. Carry on and you’ll get there! Hard work and determination are fabulous skills to have, and you will learn more about yourself and your capabilities along the way. Of course, not forgetting about our self care and giving ourselves a break now and again. (Click here to view my blog for self care)
Be open to thoughts and suggestions…. It is so important to stay open-minded. The more open we are to thoughts that come into our mind and to suggestions from others the more versatile we are. We consume and retain so much more information and knowledge when we are open to things, especially things outside of our comfort zone.  For example, I had never enjoyed public speaking. I was terrified of it and not good at it. I never in a million years would think that my purpose would include speaking in front of others. But, as you probably have guessed by now, that has been an important piece in my career. Being a voice for those who do not have one is part of what I feel my purpose is. It is so powerful! Being open to the suggestion of macro work including public speaking and running group sessions has been life changing for me. However, what I have felt my purpose is in life has changed many times, and that is okay! Purpose does not have to be the same your entire life, it can change. Whatever feels right to you at that time in your life can be your purpose.
Simplicity is good, too! Your purpose does not need to be extravagant and life changing.  Your purpose does not have to be your career or your day job. Your purpose can be as simple as being a kind, honest person each and every day. Your purpose can be to be a great parent. You do not need to have some big, grand plan for how you’re going to change the world. Whatever feels right to you right now can be your purpose. Strive to be great at the simple things and know that you’re contributing to society by doing so. 
Volunteer….
We can gain and learn so much from others. Viewing life from others’ perspectives and seeing the world in many viewpoints is huge to finding our own purpose and how we want to contribute to the world. Giving our time to others is a rewarding experience and helps us learn about what makes us ‘tick’.
Enjoy yourself and your journey….
This  is the most important part! Our mistakes, stressors, set backs, obstacles, frustrations make us who we are. We can look back on those moments and reminisce on the decisions we made along the way.  It is really interesting and fun to look back on our lives to think about where life has brought us; how we got to where we are today. Your journey shows your growth, and can be a great learning experience when you look back at all you’ve accomplished and been through.  Enjoy continuing along on this journey. After all, it is the only one you’ve got.

The two most important days in your life are the day you were born, and the day you find out why. ~Mark Twain

-keep shining

The Power of Vulnerability

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It’s true….The word ‘vulnerable’ is viewed pretty negatively. It makes sense that the word is viewed negatively because to be vulnerable means that we are in a state of weakness, being more susceptible to physical or emotional harm. It reminds us that we have insecurities and cannot cope with everything that comes our way. And who wants to ever be in a state of weakness? Who would want to have insecurities?

In this society, there is so much importance placed upon being strong, independent, and smart. People strive to appear confident and unbreakable. It is a part of our society that has been engraved into our brains, especially for males. But, being strong and confident all the time is exhausting, is it not? Wouldn’t it be nice to put down the facade from time to time and admit that we just cannot handle it anymore?
Well what if I told you that embracing your weaknesses will make you a more confident individual? Would you believe me?

I want you to know that is it okay to be vulnerable…There is no greater strength as a human than to be open to vulnerability.

Personally, I have difficulty admitting to being wrong and apologizing. I feel extremely vulnerable when I know I am wrong because I know I need to own up to those mistakes and voice my apology where an apology is due. I know I cannot escape my mistake until I own up to it and make it right. I dread it, and frankly, I am bad at it. However, there is a huge feeling of relief and a huge feeling of empowerment when I own up to vulnerabilities such as these. There is something about breaking down your walls, being vulnerable, telling the truth, and admitting your weaknesses that feels so good. And do you want to know why?
Because we are human. Humans are supposed to have moments of weakness, humans are supposed to have faults. How do we learn if we do not let ourselves be vulnerable? It is in times of weakness that we learn our strengths, we learn what we are made of, and we learn how we are going to come out on top. That is immense strength. To be vulnerable is the ability to put our egos aside and know that doing so is okay. It is a part of healing wounds, it is a part of working on those vulnerabilities to make them our strengths. Having failures, feeling uncertain, and being accountable are all a normal part of life. So, since we have to deal with those things, why not embrace them and make it easier on ourselves?

When was a time where you felt your weakest? How did you overcome that, and what did you learn?
In the moment , feeling weak or hopeless is not ideal and not something we want to face. But afterwards, it can feel really great if we open ourselves up to accepting our weaknesses and work on them. Self-awareness plays a huge role here, and being open to looking at each vulnerability as something we need to learn from. Why is this something that makes me feel vulnerable? What about my past makes this situation so difficult to overcome? Why is this insecurity of mine coming to the surface? And how can I make the most of this situation?
Another important piece of self-awareness is to set healthy boundaries with others. You do not want people to take advantage of your vulnerabilities, so to be aware of them is to protect yourself as well.

I challenge you to start verbalizing how you feel in each moment and be open to revealing your flaws to others. This step is truly exhilarating.
Vulnerabilities are purposefully put into our lives because we are meant to put down our walls and overcome barriers. Ask yourself how you can make your vulnerabilities your biggest strengths.

We all have fears of sharing too much and not being accepted by others. We neglect ourselves of truly connecting with people when we are always focused on being desirable rather than being who we are. It takes courage to accept the parts of ourselves we are ashamed of. Embrace and celebrate your shortcomings, and be open to other people’s as well. Ironically enough, you will find that embracing your flaws will make you a more confident individual.

Moving on, I want you to know that vulnerability helps us to be more humble. One huge gift that vulnerability provides us with is to ask for and accept help from others. Being able to accept help and genuinely thank someone can be as difficult as saying I’m sorry. But we must have a healthy balance between giving and receiving. We feel strong when we are the giver, the ‘one who knows’. We love to give, which is a great thing! But, it takes a healthy dose of humility to accept help and admit that we do not know everything. It is overwhelming and stressful to always be the giver. Graciously accept help. To ask for help is to look at a situation squarely and know that you cannot do it all. Humans are not made to be perfect. Needing help is being real with yourself, it is being smart and realistic.

Tidbits to review today:
1. Focus on self-awareness in moments of weakness. Be aware of your vulnerabilities so you can set boundaries with others.
2.  Connect with people on a deeper level, do not focus on being desirable but instead on being YOU.
3. Celebrate and embrace your insecurities. They make you who you are, and by being more self-aware you can improve on those insecurities.
4. Failure and mistakes are normal. They make us human and help us learn.
5. Be open to revealing your flaws to others and verbalize how you feel, and know that it is okay to be uncertain sometimes.
6. To ask for help is humbling. It is smart and realistic to know that we cannot do it all. Asking for help and being the receiver is healthy. Accept help and provide thanks to the giver.

I define vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. To be human is to be in vulnerability. –  Brene’ Brown

 

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Happy Things Thursday

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  1. Cozy days next to the fire place, with hot chocolate, and a good book.
  2. Getting good service at a restaurant
  3. Roasting marshmallows
  4. A first kiss
  5. Finding the perfect lipstick
  6. Smiling so much your cheeks hurt
  7. Oversized sweaters
  8. Someone scratching your back
  9. Sunshine
  10. Building a snowman

Happy Things Thursday

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1. Good hair days
2. Calm, quiet snow fall
3. Wedding celebrations
4. A giant cup of your favorite coffee
5. The smell of Subway
6. Being asked if you’ve lost weight
7. Finishing a good book
8. Christmas movies
9. Packing for a vacation
10. The cozy feeling of walking around in your favorite slippers

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