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Tag: life lessons

Feeling Into Your Thinking

Feelings…Feelings, feelings, feelings! We are full of ‘em. Every single thought we have has a feeling attached to it. Often times those feelings are emotions we stuff deep down instead of dealing with them…And there’s a huge myth out there that goes something like this; if we avoid our feelings they don’t exist and they will eventually disappear.
We avoid circumstances (people, places, situations, conversations) that bring about emotional reactions we don’t wish to experience. We ‘avoid’ with the assumption that the feelings associated with the circumstances will go away. The fear associated with feelings, and inability to handle the feelings, seems to be easier to deal with if we try to forget their existence in our minds. Instead, if we feel into the fear and face the emotion, we can diminish the fear and understand the emotion; thus, removing the need to avoid. This also allows us space to understand ourselves better and live life more freely rather than by what we think we should be doing.
Feeling into the fear allows us to better recognize and work through our emotion and be more honest with ourselves. We are so fearful of feeling. We would rather not know the outcome or avoid having to come face to face with making difficult decisions. What we forget is that our emotions tell us so much about ourselves and what we want and need to do. And we also forget that these emotions don’t just leave us alone. If they are unresolved, they will continue to build, nag us and give us this feeling of ‘what if’…
It’s okay to feel what you are feeling. But when our feelings are different from where we want them to be, we don’t want them to exist.

No matter what thoughts we may have, whether we want them to exist or not, your life can still bring you joy. It doesn’t matter which path you meander on, no one can take away who you are. Facing and owning your feelings is a part of life’s purpose. And the best part? No matter the emotional turmoil and confusion and no matter where life brings you, you can always have joy. That’s because no one can take away your self worth, your love, your happiness, your mindset, your journey. These things have and will always be yours. Knowing that is what makes life worth living.
Typically problems arise because of how we think about these things. There is so much self pressure to retain things a certain way that we focus more on thinking about controlling these things (self worth, love, happiness, mindset, journey) based on where we think we should be, rather than listening to our inner wisdom and emotional responses. We are constantly in a state of avoiding thoughts and honest conversations with ourselves about where we are at internally. We are scared. We don’t want to complicate things. And we forget that we already own all of these wonderful things that have and will always be ours. Regardless of our feelings, we can still have self worth, love, happiness, a healthy mindset, and our journey. So what is there to fear when the things we fear most are ours to have if we want them? It goes back to this myth that if we keep our feelings stuffed deep down, we can avoid them and just keep on our current path of comfort and deal with the floating thoughts of ‘what if’. Avoiding our emotions tricks us into thinking our feelings have dissipated when actually, they are waiting to rise to the surface to be dealt with later.
We pay so much attention to ‘controlling’ our thoughts, thus ‘controlling’ and hiding our emotions. But who wants to hide? Who wants to cover up who they really are? Who doesn’t want to learn about themselves? The obsession we have with control causes us to avoid listening to our gut and our inner guidance. But it’s this inner guidance and wisdom that is where we come from, and without it you would not exist as your unique self.

Recommendations:
Give yourself time, but not too much…
Time can be related to avoidance. There’s a balance between giving yourself time to understand and process your feelings, and then deciding what to do about them. If we wait too long to take action, we start resonating too much which can cause more fear, anxiety, and even anger. We don’t want our feelings to eat up our energy. Coming to terms with our feelings is supposed to be a healing, uplifting, and refreshing experience, even though it can feel scary.
Also give yourself time after coming to terms and acting on those feelings to let the dust settle and see how things effortlessly blossom thereafter.

Allow plenty of space for silence…
We forget how noisy our world is. Nothing has been more powerful in my life than giving myself space for thought. No music, no background noise, no one else around…
Let yourself experience those floating thoughts that come through, and do so without any distraction. I feel so refreshed after spending time in complete silence, and it has helped me get to know myself. There is no greater feeling than looking forward to silence and the experiences of your own thoughts. Enjoy times of silence, and be your own best friend!

Journal and meditate…
I know I know, I always get a few eyerolls here. BUT, hear me out…Just take the time to write and process through the feelings we do not even realize are there. This is where I take moments to pause and focus on the feelings I forget about because I am so busy thinking about everything else. Journaling is a great way to understand pieces of you that you didn’t know existed, and adding meditation helps to let go of everything aside from what’s in front of you right now. Take the time to stay present rather than stress over all the thoughts we have flying through our mind each day.
Let yourself go here; don’t control what comes through the pen or what emotions come up when you meditate. It’s your time to give back to yourself, and you owe it to yourself to have that quality time. 

Be honest with yourself…
Spending more time in silence, journaling, coming to terms with your emotions, etc. cannot happen if you don’t let go. Being honest with yourself is huge. Feel into the confusion, those fears, hesitations, conflicts, and questions. If you can’t be honest with yourself, how do you expect to move forward and enjoy every aspect of your life? Let your guard down with yourself, it’ll be okay.

Understand that your thoughts are just thoughts
Thoughts drive our feelings, so taking a hard look at how your thoughts affect your feelings is crucial. Sometimes if we change our thoughts and perspective on a situation, our emotions change, too. Our thoughts are what drives our perception of the world and how we feel about it. And just because we think a thought, that does not mean we agree to it or believe it. Thoughts can just come and go, and we do not need to feel into every fleeting thought in our mind.

The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking ~

-keep shining

Similar blogs:
It’s Okay, Guilt, Control, Failing, Self Forgiveness

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7 Rules To Live By

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1. There is more than 1 right way for things to work out.
We often put a lot of stress on ourselves for things to work out the way we want them to; the way we have planned it all out in our heads. However, this completely defeats the purpose of growth and learning. Life would not be nearly as exciting if things worked out as we plan and foresee them to. A little chaos and uncertainly is healthy, and it keeps us on our toes. Enjoy life’s ups and downs, and accept when things turn out differently than we wanted or planned.
There is a reason you’re ending up right where you are, going through what you’re going through, and experiencing something unforeseen or maybe even unasked for…Enjoy the journey.

2. We all experience pain differently, but that doesn’t mean you deserve it.
Pain is just a part of life. We are all going to go through many painful experiences, and often times unexpectedly. A lot of our pain comes from life not meeting the expectations that we set for ourselves.
Do not get discouraged. You do not go through pain because you have done anything to deserve it. We are supposed to experience pain as it makes us who we are.
Many of my most painful life experiences have ended up being the best teaching moments, and I have grown tremendously from them. Enduring pain is what makes us resilient!

3. Accept your biases.
No matter how hard we try, we are going to have biases and judgements regarding certain things in our lives. Humans are predisposed to what feels/looks familiar and safe. It is our awareness of our biases and how we act on them that matters. Not one person in this world has a perfect view of reality as we all see it through our own windows. Accepting your biases puts you in a position to expand your perspective and learn new things, recognizing that we can learn from others’ biases too. The key here is to be willing to hear others’ perspectives, admit when you’re wrong, and being open to changing your mindset.

4. We are meant to experience things that do not make sense to us.
We are all dealing with experiences and circumstances that are difficult, confusing, and unexpected. It is normal, and it is okay.  What is important to remember is that we try not to judge others as we have no idea their circumstances or their perspective of the situation; everyone deals with life the best way they know how. Confusion and uncertainty is going to happen; we aren’t supposed to have all the answers. We can’t control circumstances, but we can control how we react to them. Sh*t happens, whether we feel there is a reason for it or not.

5. Quit caring about what others think about you.
I’ve blogged about it before and I will blog about it again…What people think about you is none of your business. Why waste your time and energy caring about that? People are going to judge regardless. People are going to view you the way they want to, no matter how unflattering that may be.
Live your life the way you want to. The minute you stop trying to please others and focus on your own wants and needs, the more relieved you will feel. You choose the way you see yourself, bottom line.

6. Life is about change, stop being scared of it.
What fun would life be if we didn’t experience all the unplanned curve balls? Quit hesitating, quit thinking of what people will think, and quit overanalyzing the end result. Live in the moment, live in what feels right right now. Change is scary, especially when we weren’t asking for it, but think about where you’d be today if you didn’t endure some unexpected changes in your world. This is what makes life worth living! Enjoy the adrenaline that change brings out in you.

7. Never forget to tell people how you feel about them.
I think we can all agree that one of the best feelings in the world is when someone you care about tells you how they feel about you. Whether on a personal or professional level, never underestimate the power of this! There is no better way to brighten someone’s day then to tell them all the positive things you think about them. It makes people happy to be reminded of your feelings towards them, or when you compliment them unexpectedly.
Why keep those thoughts bottled up anyways? Brightening someone’s day feels good! 

 

You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself ~

-keep shining

Happy Things Thursday

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  1. The changing of the seasons
  2. Social outings with friends on week nights
  3. Letting balloons drift off into the sky
  4. The smell of a newborn baby
  5. Free cookies
  6. 90’s music
  7. Encouraging coworkers
  8. Standing ovations
  9. The smell of fall
  10. Contagious laughter