When you mess up, when you swear too much, and when you don’t speak your mind. Love yourself when you don’t feel pretty, when you’ve had too much to drink and haven’t made it to the gym. Love yourself when you say something you don’t mean. Love yourself when cheese curds sound better than yoga. Love yourself when you make the same mistake over and over again and can’t understand why. Love yourself when there isn’t any other option, but also when every other option exists. Love yourself on those really tough days when you don’t want to.
I am the unwavering love that encompasses you every minute of every day. I am the calm before the storm, and the calm once the storm subsides. I am the truth, I am real. I am everything you want to be, and what you realize you already are. I am your base, the support to guide you. Trust in me, and in turn you’ll trust yourself. I am the kindness and warmth in your heart. I am strength. I am vulnerability. Growth is a part of me. I am peace. I am everywhere, and I am incredible…I am you.
Dear Self, I am sorry. I am sorry for being so hard on you. I am sorry for not accepting you just the way you are. For not loving you the way you deserve to be loved. For not taking care of your needs, and putting others first. I am sorry for letting opinions outside of your own dictate your life and your future. I am sorry for suggesting you be sad all by yourself rather than sharing that sadness with the world. I am sorry that I make you fear judgment from others instead of letting yourself shine. I am sorry that I don’t encourage you to be true to yourself but rather make you worry about people not understanding you. I am sorry that I do not give you the time you need to heal. That I expect you to pull yourself up by your bootstraps when you do not have any boots. I am sorry for not allowing you to cry on my shoulder and not allowing you to be vulnerable. I am sorry that sometimes I do not trust your judgment, even though deep down I know you’re right. I am sorry for expecting you to be perfect and allowing the portrayal of perfection in our society to ruminate in your mind. I am sorry that I do not remind you of how brave, resilient, and pretty you are. I am sorry that I make you feel as though you cannot make mistakes or take any risks. I am sorry for not allowing you to be honest with yourself in difficult moments. You do not deserve any of this, and you need to know that I see you trying. And because of that, you deserve happiness. You deserve happiness because of who you are…Because you are incredible, you are extraordinary. You deserve happiness because life should be more than pretending to be perfect. You deserve happiness because your flaws are beautiful. But most importantly, you deserve happiness just because. And I am so sorry that I have made you feel as though you are not worthy of this.