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Tag: life (Page 4 of 6)

One Swear Word A Day Keeps The Doctor Away

Laugh all you want, but I truly feel like swearing is an underutilized coping mechanism that often gets judged. If there is one thing I can say that continuously provides some relief and humor in my life, it’s swearing….
Think about how much more you’re able to withstand the pain of stubbing your toe when you scream out some vulgar language, or how much more exciting that promotion is when we meet the excitement with a resounding, “F*CK YES!”.

I have come to accept that I just love to swear. I used to have a swear jar, but quickly realized I could fund NASA if I continued down this path of trying to be more ‘lady-like’.
So okay, you get it…I swear like a sailor and use manners like a saint, but the older I’m getting the more I am finding this trait to help me relate to others. There is something relieving about interacting with someone who uses a little bit of vulgarity in their vocabulary; it’s personable. And there are articles out there that claim we trust those we interact with more when they swear. Whether or not those articles are legitimate, I feel like that’s accurate in my world. I relax a little bit and feel like I can be myself around those who talk like me, who can let their guard down a little, and be who they are.  It makes me feel like they have reached a point of feeling comfortable around me. We are adults, after all, and expressing ourselves is very important.

Now don’t get me wrong, there is definitely a time and place for this kind of language, so don’t go crazy with letting your F-bombs fly in front of the kids. But when it’s appropriate, maybe swearing can help a little, ya know? It’s a way to express ourselves more accurately. Swearing brings  humor into many aspects of our lives, and adds some drama to any story we tell.  It just helps us express ourselves and allows us to wear our emotions on our sleeves more accurately. Sugar-coating things can be exhausting. If we constantly tiptoe around what we want to say, we aren’t being true to our feelings. We just need to let it out sometimes, and that’s okay!

Swearing is like a compromise between our fight or flight response; when we don’t know how to react or respond, we swear. At least when I am stuck, swearing makes me feel ‘normal’ and letting out a simple, “sh*t” or “dam*it” is all I needed, and all that I really could do in the situation.
Think about a time someone purposefully scared the crap out of you…Pause for a second and recall that situation. Typically our fight response in that moment may be to punch that person in the face (perhaps not the best plan of action), or our flight response is to cover our face and scream or run in the opposite direction. We had no control over those responses because in those ‘fight or flight’ moments our brains take over our responses. However, another possible response may be that we let out a giant, “HOLY F*CK!”.  And in my opinion, that is by far the best response. In that scenario, no one goes to the hospital with a broken nose, but instead we all have a good laugh over the ridiculous swear word our brain decides to word vomit. And it provides the most relief now that you realize no one is jumping out to murder you.

Swearing makes situations more uplifting, and it’s just the best answer to life’s predicaments sometimes. So before casting judgement onto someone for using colorful language next time, maybe take a second to ask yourself, “well sh*t, am I being too f*cking judgmental right now?”…And also pat yourself on the back, because perhaps Sweary-Susan over there felt comfortable enough around you to let her guard down and cuss a little.

Life’s disappointments are harder when you don’t know any swear words.

-keep shining

Happy Things Thursday

 

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  • A successful first date
  • New slippers
  • Toddlers trying to walk in boot and snowsuits
  • The smell of Barnes and Noble
  • Drinking your favorite fountain pop
  • A baby falling asleep in your arms
  • Lighting a new candle for the first time
  • Wedding receptions
  • Someone letting you budge in line
  • Getting reimbursed for college books at the end of the semesterClick here to ‘like’ and follow my Facebook page
    -keep shining

Happy Things Thursday

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  1. The feeling of playing with your hair/rubbing your head after a much needed haircut
  2. Being in the mood to clean and organize your house/work space
  3. Buying a new pet
  4. A fully charged phone battery
  5. Tax returns
  6. Sticking your knife into a fresh jar of peanut butter
  7. The first outdoor walk after a long, cold winter
  8. Anniversaries
  9. Watching a movie from your childhood that you forgot existed
  10. Learning to play an instrument

A Simple Bowl of Chili….

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Do you ever have one of those weeks where nothing goes your way? Like the entire universe is against you and laughing at you…
I was having quite a pity party last week. I was not feeling the best, worked long hours, traveled a lot for work, and had numerous unpredictable mishaps. Not to mention, when you feel you’re having a bad week it seems you stub your toe on every corner, bite your tongue a few times, and don’t seem to get quite enough sleep. You name it, and I was complaining about it.
This happens to us all from time to time, doesn’t it? We just get in this rut of ‘life is hard’ and ‘I can’t even”. But I will tell you about an experience I had last week that totally changed my mindset. It was a great reminder that life really isn’t all that bad.

We had a youth event at my place of employment last week where homeless youth could come in for a hot bowl of soup and a free haircut. Amongst the youth walked in a 52 year old homeless man who had a long ponytail and looked disheveled. But one thing I noticed about this man is that he was in great spirits.
He stated that he heard we were giving free haircuts today, and of course we welcomed him openly to the event regardless of his age.
Along with getting a free haircut, this man grabbed himself a hot bowl of chili and started eating in our conference room. I walked into the conference room to say hi and have a conversation with this man, however I felt awkward staring at him while he ate. A coworker suggested I grab a bowl of soup and sit down with him, so I did just that.
Now trust me when I say that this man did not come up for air when he spoke to me. All it took was me sitting next to him with a bowl of chili for the flood gates to be opened. It took patience and some active listening from me to sit through this man’s unending and repetitive stories for an hour, but I tell you it was the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. It was a beautiful thing to witness unfold.

The art of listening is so powerful, and not something we utilize often enough as a society. We would gain so much from being able to listen to others, and not just listen to them but also hear what they are saying.
The reason I was able to be such a good listener that day is because I knew that this man probably hadn’t had a single person listen to him in a very long time. He was alone, homeless, and an addict who was working towards becoming healthy again. All it took from me to make sure this man felt heard and loved that day, was to listen. And how simple is that? The simple act of listening and allowing someone to feel heard is so ridiculously powerful. Yes, it took an hour out of my day to do so, but what better way to spend that hour than to be sure you’re making a difference in someone’s life who is less fortunate than you. I have a warm home to return to, I know I will have food in my belly, and I know I have a huge support system of people who I can turn to. One hour is not so bad when you think about all the great things you have in your world.

Amongst being homeless and disheveled, this man was grateful, he was cheery, he was warm, he was harmless. Once I started listening to him, I did not even see what was on the surface.  I only saw his great spirited attitude. Once we give someone a chance, rather than focus on judging at first glance, we can learn so much. 
Without any prompting, he told me about where he was from, his past, his addiction, his health, his life goals, and his art that he is so passionate about. After he left, one of my coworkers said to me, “Wow, you did such a great job listening to that man, I would not have been able to do that”. That is when it dawned on me that it is really difficult for us in this society to take time out of our day to listen instead of talk. But not only to listen, but to hear what is being said….To take what is being said and apply it to our lives in order to better people. It truly is a difficult task that takes some humility and discipline to accomplish. But by doing this, we gain so much, and unfortunately it is so overlooked.

How often do we just wait our turn to speak next? Not listening to the one currently with the microphone, but just waiting our turn to say what we think needs to be said. How often do we have a question or thought while someone is speaking, and then make that our focus rather than continuing to hear what that person is saying? All to often, this is how we communicate in our society, thus not leaving any room to grow and learn as individuals. It is through others that we learn about humility, acceptance, and diversity. And I was so grateful to have that opportunity on the day that I met the 52 year old homeless man in great spirits.

When asked if my cup is half full or half empty, my response is always that I am grateful to have a cup ~

-keep shining
(Don’t forget to ‘like’ and share my Facebook page and posts at www.facebook.com/secretsofsw/ )

The Future Is Not Real

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Breaking News:
There is no such thing as the future. The future is our make-believe. It is where we think up the most exciting parts of our lives, as well as where we create some seriously stressful situations.
Our mind is where we are predicting a future while simultaneously missing out on the present moments in our lives.

My thoughts about the future are chaotic. Sometimes I think of things that I assume will happen, and get really excited when they do. But other times, my thoughts of the future  leave me really disappointed when life does not pan out the way I assumed. Does this ever happen to you?
On the flip side, sometimes I assume certain stressful or scary situations are going to occur, and they never do. It is true, after all, that 90% of what we stress about each day does not happen. The what if’s, just in case’s, but’s, the what would happen if’s…..They are endless.

The truth? The stressful thoughts do not predict our future, and neither do the positive assumptions.
Think about how much time we waste focusing on the make-believe future instead of what is right in front of us. We lose out on many moments in life because our focus is on what’s coming next, instead of the ‘now’. We need to focus on the ‘now’ to develop a more confident, focused, and successful self. The ‘now’ helps us to learn gratitude and patience for what is coming next since we are content in our present self.

I challenge you to think this thought: I am open-minded towards the future and what is or is not going to happen…
Think about the relief that can come with this thought when you truly believe it. We do not need to worry about things panning out perfectly, or be disappointed when they don’t. Sometimes we have no control over parts of our lives or the paths we are meant to take, and we just have to accept that- plain and simple.

The unpredictability of our life path is fun, it’s exciting, and it’s how we learn to be our best selves. We cannot plan our futures, but we can focus on what is in our control and what is going well right now. What am I enjoying right now in this moment, and how can I capitalize on that?
Let’s start turning away from focusing on the ‘what-you-want-is-what-will-be-the-reality’ frame of mind. We can focus on what we want, loosely, while also understanding that life takes you down an unpredictable stream, and we can’t craft our future as we envision. Stuff happens, and if we want to make the most out of life we must be flexible and open to this.
I will challenge you to work on some grounding techniques which can be researched easily online, or check out my past blog on grounding. <—click here

Think about how many curve balls you’ve been thrown in your life, and how those got you to the present moment….
What have been some life changing moments in your life?
Once you determine those moments, think about how your life may be different now had those curve balls never been thrown your way.
That is pretty incredible, isn’t it? And I bet it was unpredictable too!

The future belongs to those who believe in the power of now.
-keep shining

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